Life Drawing

I went to school for art. Life drawing was a requirement, so this had to be done. Not that I was against it, but I've just always felt more comfortable when people have their clothes on. I've changed a bit since then, though I still generally believe the human body is vile and disgusting (unless you're built like a pornstar-by pornstar, i mean 80s pornstar).

My experience at that time, with other naked bodies was, well, quite limited. I took a vow of celibacy in the tradition of Morrissey. My vow was probably a little more involuntary than his and that's because life is hard. So, there was much talk and anticipation about this course among my few friends who, believe it or not, had less game than me at the time. We were all innocent babes, wet behind the ears if you will. I don't even think I'd been to a strip club yet.

So, it was time for class.

They brought out some thin fit older chick. On the outside I looked calm, inside was a different story. To make matters worse, she posed, like, spread out, facing me, and not too far from me. It was a struggle to keep my cool and focus at the task at hand. At that age, especially, you want to jump on everything, and regardless of the classroom setting, those thoughts did come to mind.

Everyone that poses has a smell too. Those smells can play on your brain. She had a smell.

The five or ten minute session finally ended and I took a deep breath. It was over and the pose changed and it a lot easier after that. Everything was easier after that pose. I didn't embarrass myself, and I think outwardly I projected an appropriate serious vibe (aside from the heavy panting and drool on my chin).

Little League/Competitiveness

A few people had posted this article on Facebook within the last week or so:
http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2013/11/05/why-i-dont-want-my-kids-to-play-team-sports/

I got mixed feelings about this piece.

It made me think back to my brief stint in little league baseball before my left tibia got possessed by painful infectious demons putting me in early retirement. The game scared the shit out of me. It was pressure. Thankfully my father was cool, he would come to every game and be a quiet laid back spectator. I insisted he close his eyes when I was at bat (I don't think he did). I wasn't a bad player, and I could pitch okay in our league, but everything was stressful for me. I don't think he ever critiqued my playing and was happy that I was just out there.

We weren't in a crazy serious balls-to-the-wall league. There was better talent in other leagues in the city. But the idea of performing in front of parents and others is a big deal at that age regardless of skill level. I was a sensitive kid too.

Through encouragement I did make it to most games and practices and I'm thankful I did. For a brief time, it toughened me up, and I wish I could've done it longer.

Going back to the article (linked above), I can sympathize with the points made about obnoxious parents and coaches taking the game too seriously. In the scheme of things, it is children playing a game, it need not be hell on earth.

On the other hand, the game itself becomes pretty meaningless if no one cares to win and no one is taught anything. The fundamentals are key. Sitting a less talented player on the bench for most (or all) of the game is not the end of the world. Maybe it will force him/her to improve. I'm okay with that. Wanting to win isn't bad and neither is focusing on it. We need not fear such things. It's life.

It should be understood that there are leagues for serious competitors and there might be other associations that are more inclusive. These two approaches can peacefully co-exist. Understand what your aim is, and operate according to those values. Know what you're getting into. Don't complain.

Find a City. (Places I would live)/(Places I wouln't "live there if you paid me')

Those in my inner circle (i,e the Intelligensea) understand I'm quite content in my current environs. There's no rush to leave and that might make others sad. I won't disclose my exact whereabouts, but let's just say we're in a small college town between Allentown and Reading, PA, surrounded by farms, on the eastern side of the lovely state. It's cheap living, a comfortable Main St., and low key vibes, and with that, comes the feeling that you are someone, not just one among the masses. It's a false sense of power maybe, but I'll take it.

But, as a travelling man, encountering new frontiers and urban areas, one thing that I will do, is, try to picture myself living there, wherever there is at the time. It seems, in most cases, I'm hit with a feeling of, "wow, it would be cool to move here", imagining work in said town or city, the commute, and where I would eat, grocery shop, and even run game on the broads. Other times, and more rarely, I'll think "wow, this place is really depressing, what do people do here."

Both feelings are common, I'm sure most of us do this.

So, with that spirit in mind, I'm doing two top 5 lists of places I would live, and places I wouldn't live. For the most part, I've been to the city more than once, but there are maybe a couple exceptions.

Top 5 - I would live here. (not in any specific order)
1. SEATTLE, WA
I've had a prejudice against the west coast for most of my life. For some reason it's never appealed to me and I've had little desire to go there. And, well, as much as I hate grunge music, Seattle kind of changed that for me. For being a bigger city, it didn't seem large. There's sushi everywhere, lots of water, mountains and natural things close by, and the neighborhoods seemed pretty cozy. Practically, I couldn't afford to live there and enjoy it, and in light of the nuclear disaster in Japan, and Seattle kind of being in its path, its a little less attractive. But, it's still good.

2. ROCHESTER, NY
Why the hell Rochester? I've been there quite often and it feels strangely welcoming. Again, it's got water (the Lake and the Genesee), beaches, posh neighborhoods and it's the birthplace of Wegman's. I recently stayed with a friend of mine who lives downtown and his rent wasn't all that high, and he had access to awesome bars, and a fast bus to Toronto (aka T dot). If you fish, there's crazy huge brown trout and salmon. Maybe it's a little flat for me, but there are some neat gorges and waterfalls. Don't shit on the place until you've been there. It seems very livable and very good live music vibes and friendly ladies.

3. LONDON, UK
Maybe the most unrealistic and the most charming place on the list, and kind of a no-brainer. I would bet I couldn't do nearly the amount of things over there, that I'm doing here now (owning a car might being one of them). I could picture myself being in a shitty neighborhood, in a shitty apartment, struggling pay check to pay check, eating canned goods most of the time and maybe that would be worth it to be surrounded by such beauty, the buildings, churches, pubs, rivers, boats, etc. I'm too lazy to even try moving there, but if there are any English readers of this blog that wish to marry me and make me a legal citizen, please let me know. Comment below.

4. BETHLEHEM, PA
Yeah, this wouldn't be a big move, it's about 40 minutes from where I live and slightly reminds me of my hometown of Pittsburgh, though it's a little smaller. Great restaurants, nice historical section, and a some universities, the Lehigh runs through it, separating the North from the Southside. I've had good live music experiences there too and many times.

4. QUEBEC CITY, QC
I'd need to learn French, but I just love it's location, sort of far away from everything. Cool historical, yet sadly, over touristy section of town is "breath-taking" if you will, overlooking the St Laurance. There are sort of posh looking 'hoods on the drive in. Originally I was going to put Montreal, which has more English speakers, but, I prefer the small to the large.

Honourable Mention: Places that came to mind, but didn't spend too much time there, or just not quite good enough - for one reason or another, but close...
Ottawa, ON
St. Catharines ON
Redbank, NJ
Toronto, ON
New Paltz, NY
Pittsburgh, PA (already grew up there, sort of disqualified)
Portland, ME

Top 5 - I wouldn't live here. (not in any specific order)
1. GOLDEN, CO
It's about 20 minutes from Denver. I was there two times in the 1990s and I remember beautiful mountain landscapes and the smell of Coors Brewery, with a trout stream running through town. What's the problem? That's all that there is. Everything is so isolated. Denver is close, but Denver didn't blow my mind. The place just seemed kind of isolated, in a bad way.

2. DALLAS, TX
I was there just once in the 90s and I see no point to ever returning to that flat hot hell. I'm done.

3. DETROIT, MI
I spent a couple days in downtown Detroit, I remember the Casino, St. Andrews, and the "new" ball field, and all of those things are nice. We all know about the rest of that place though. More of my time was spent just outside of town, and one thing that stuck in my mind were all the goddamned multi lane roads and too many cars. And it all was flat.

4. NIAGARA FALLS, ON
Yeah, it's a nice place to visit on occasion but living there would be a different story. The place has changed so much, since I was first there in the 1990s. It's almost like a mini Las Vegas now. Aside from the waterfall, the only things there are: Casinos, Strip Clubs, and chain restaurants. Drive through the outskirts of town and it begins to get really depressing. I wonder what people do there who aren't working in something related to tourism.

5. ERIE, PA
I had a term of college up there in 1995. Initially I was disappointed that the campus was separated from the town of Erie, but as I got to spend some time in the city, I was less and less sad. You would think it be a little more interesting given it's location in between Buffalo and Cleveland, and on the lake but that's just not the case. Stay away.

Dishonourable Mention: Places that came to mind, but didn't spend too much time there, or just not quite horrible enough - for one reason or another, but close...
Brownsville, PA
Philadelphia, PA
Monticello, NY (talk about weird)
Newburgh, NY
Washington DC
The rest of New Jersey.
90% of what's south of the Mason-Dixon line and west of Ohio.

In closing, these opinions are based mainly on emotions and feelings upon entering and spending time in the town. There has been no research put behind this. Some of these opinions might be dated because some places on the list I haven't been to in a while. I guess there is a chance Erie has pulled itself together, but I kind of doubt it. I haven't heard anything.

For the few that read this, please put your list below, with reasons why.

Shoes

It's a weakness of mine. I have a lot. A lot of weaknesses and shoes. They are important. Given past leg problems, comfort is just as important, if not more, than style. Style is also important.

Converse All-Stars/Chuck Taylors are nice looking, I guess, but I'd never wear them because they seem as though they'd be uncomforatable. I think they're warn too much too. I was lucky enough to have a friend hook me up with some high end, posh, if you will, sneakers, from not so common brand names. For style and comfort these shoes rock [Teva, Karhu (Finland)]. The Tevas are orange and the Karhus are green. Well made, well styled shoes rock.

For Dress shoes I've been wearing these Clark's loafers (tan). At the outlet store I can get them for about $30. They are light weight, casual, and comfy. Good for any situation. They last about 2+ years or so. I also own a couple Doc Marten's that don't look like Doc Marten's, thank god they don't have the yellow stitching. Both are black, one is a boot, one is low. They have an air cushioned soul. I also have some Clark's wingtips, which, surprisingly, and sadly, they aren't too comfy, but they are styled nicely. When I wear the wingtips, it's strictly a fashion statement.

I like plain, almost dykish looking shoes on a chick. I like plain things in general, but it's also nice to have exceptions.

My exception regarding shoes are these orange suede with a shiny buckle. Flamboyantly styled, yet super comfortable, I'm often torn about wearing them out. They come with a matching suede belt.

Maybe I'll post some pics.

Haven't Written in a While/Ramblings.

It's been sort of a long time since I've posted. I guess I have nothing that's really bothering me at this time, or I'm watching what I'm writing. You gotta be careful out there, there are a lot of hyper sensitive souls that enjoy taking maximum offense to hearsay and distortions. They may do what do they want, it's not my care.

Got to go to Rochester a couple weeks ago which was nice. I saw some good bands, and a nice venue, and met a couple girls who I won't see again. One of them reminded me of someone from the past. It was weird.

I like Rochester.

It's starting to get breezy. The wind goes up the dress slacks. Time to pull out long johns. They make a big difference.

The government remains shut down (20% of it - maybe - please correct this if it's wrong). Peeps continue to complain about it. Life goes on the same.

A little over two months until Christmas, then a new year. I'd like to go abroad in January. Preferably back to the British Isles somewhere, but maybe not London. I'm looking into that couchsurfing website for room 'n' board. I also have a friend in Paris I think. Still.

I'll come up with some plan, or I'll just stay here, and not spend the money. The money I don't have.

"Yeah, but Kutztown isn't real life."

I've been in this town since 1997. Some friends who have left, return, and get all nostalgic about the place, and then utter the words, "yeah, but Kutztown isn't real life," or "Kutztown isn't reality." Usually it's after a few drinks at the local tavern they used to enjoy regularly but can't anymore, and usually it comes along with a smug little grin.

I usually nod and smile, one of the few things I won't get into an argument over, but I have pondered that sentiment from time to time, and I'm going to try to make peace with it.

First, I get a little confused at the term "real life" or "reality." What does it mean? Who determines what's legit and what's not? I don't think they intend to insult, but what's being said, really, is, you don't live in reality. Something a parent might tell a teenager.

Why is it fantasy land?

Well, the town is a magical place, and when the fog sets in, it can appear to be a fantasy of sorts (you can almost see unicorns and sprites ~ if you will), but, aside from that, all of my friends responsibly hold jobs, some, a lot, even have families. I know there's good and friendly bars around here, but you can find that in most places if you give it time. People work together, and gather more, and play wiffle ball and have bands and endeavors, I don't know. On the weekends, some like to spend a lot of time drinking and enjoying the afternoon. What's the problem? These are all choices and preferences and because it doesn't fit into one person's sense of the real world based on what outside influences have told them doesn't make it anything less.

At the heart of it, I think some who ask such preposterous questions, deep inside, probably regret that they feel forced into something they don't really want and are too weak to refuse it. I understand if the town has gotten old, that's natural, move on to something else. (I even, at times think of moving, but not because it's a fairy tale.)

But, to say this place is less reality based than the "righteous" area they've selected is just narrow-minded.

People live in this town for lots of reasons and for me it has nothing to do with nostalgic warm feelings about the university as my social life was pretty quiet/lame during those years. I think a lot of us stay here cause of the support, warmth, and the lack of bullshit you have to put up with.

Mainly, you (or at least I) don't feel trapped in this space. There's a sense you can do what you want, and feel safe about it and in most cases get supported.

The A-Team Movie/The End of 'Merica

While unwinding afterwork, at my local undisclosed tavern, I noticed a relatively new movie on the big screen TV. The movie included some helicopter chases, an older military man with a cigar, a couple of chumps, and someone that reminded me of Mr. T. Eventually I put two and two together, and asked the gentleman sitting next to me if that was supposed to be the A-Team.

"YES." (was the answer)

I perked up and tried to follow along. I wanted to like it but my spirit wouldn't let me. Now, I have no clue what the plot was or how it ended - but everything, from my 20 to 25 minutes of "sort of" watching this movie had me uneasy. It seems as though they took the members of the A-Team, watered them down, stripped them of any real character or uniqueness, and had them working for the military. (I don't know how it ends, as I've said, but I heard they do "go rogue" at the end).

The new "Murdoch" was the closest to any character I could tolerate. The rest of them were just horrible imitators. Seriously, why even bother trying to replace George Peppard (Hannibal) in the first place, few men have his class and ruggedness. The new "Face" might have been the biggest attrocity, lacking the charm and, and dare I say glow of the old one played by Dirk Benedict. I won't even bother talking about Mr. T.

To make matters worse, they were in Iraq, working with the military...working with the government. WTF?

Yes, working with the government and not the common man (woman).
Enough said.

I'm done and heading to the latrine to vomit my tacos. If you are indeed a masochist and grew up with the original show, I highly recommend watching this movie. Otherwise, like most things in American pop culture...stay the f### away!