Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Break Coming Up

I have a break coming up. Much needed. Things have been completely out of whack for awhile. I think I'm going to be going through a big change soon but I don't know what. I'm very irratable these days. I need to find new amusements, the current ones are getting old. Music remains enjoyable though.

Things generally seem miserable. I need to take a trip and get out of town. Previous decisions are catching up with me. I'm watching more television these days. I can't remember the last time I was physically active. Sleep is safe. The bright spots in my life might be turning sour. It's my own doing.

I continue to feed my face. Good tasting food is a plus.

Monday, September 26, 2011

A series of obsessions.

It seems like my life has become a series of obsessions. This isn't a healthy way to go about things. Could be a band, a political or economic ideology, and unfortunately sometimes it's a person - not that I'd ever harm anyone, I just tend to think about one specific thing constantly.

One thing that stands out was playing music. When we first starting playing live music, and if I thought we had a good gig (I'd probably be frightened to hear it now - as we've improved), after the gig I'd find myself pacing around in my own bedroom, with my mind racing, recapturing moments that I thought were great. This might go on for an hour or so. If you were standing outside my bedroom you'd probably hear me laugh to myself or dance around. My dad would do this sometimes about various shit. "Stop talking to yourself", we would say. This is what we thought was normal.

One I remember as a child was a pair of sneakers that I needed. These were the Nike Air Cross Trainers (this was maybe around '87-'88). It was tough to find kid's sizes around and I called every store. I think I waited seven months until I found out a local Foot Locker had them. With the acquisition of the shoes, the obsession soon faded.

When I first discovered that 9/11 was an inside that would be all I would talk about. This was ideal for drunken bar room situations. Preferably during heavy drinking. I've provoked shouting matches over it before. In hindsight, this was far from any sort of healthy approach to the topic, but it provided me with great amusement/entertainment. Try it sometime. I'm still of the belief that 9/11 was an inside job. Anyone with a brain who looks into building 7 could see something not right happened.

A couple years ago I had a mild obsession about making homemade pizza that paid off pretty well. I'd purchased a pizza stone and a peel and seriously got into making dough. My housemates were quite tolerant of me destroying the kitchen with flour and olive oil. I tried various conventional and unconventional techniques for dough and got pretty comfortable with sliding the pizza on and off the stone.  I found this to be quite rewarding and maybe even healthy. Of course, me being the insecure competition freak (not just satisfied with making good pizza), I had to turn the thing into a competition among friends. Which I've always won. And the competition was pretty stiff too. I don't make pizza all that much anymore unless it's for competition.

These are just a few harmless examples, I could add more, but I won't. While these are somewhat safe fixations, it would be nice to obsess over positive things, like being healthy, making lots of money, and helping my neighbors. I'm pretty sure those obsessions would make me feel good inside but I'm just not there yet and I don't know if I'll ever be. Unfortunately I'm more of an instant gratification guy...ya know, like the animals or children.

yours truly,

Monday, September 12, 2011

9/11 Football/Religion.

I was watching the Steeler game a little bit yesterday, from what I could stomach, and announcer Phil Simms, who strikes me as a nice guy, said some silly things regarding 9/11 and what a certain player had said.

During the "killing" of Bin Laden earlier this year this player had tweeted, to summarize, we shouldn't celebrate death, we've only heard one side of the story, and that a plane taking down a building is hard to believe. Click the below link for exact verbiage.

Of course at that time the NFL freaked out, and the owners of the Steelers had to put out a statement. Official statements have always kind of annoyed me, especially when it comes to something that is not clear. It's as if they are trying to steer your thinking. Tell you what you should accept. As if they're saying, we're the NFL, a large corporation that makes lots of money, accept the official government story.

Yesterday Phil Simms did the same thing. I believe he used the words dangerous and inflammatory (I couldn't find the quote). This commentary was irrelevant to the game and served to again push the official story. The religion.

<<side note: It's my belief (and I've heard it argued) that professional sports, football specifically, push an agenda of militarism, while serving as a larger distraction, mainly on men, who derive their masculinity from sitting back and watching their team win. Sports are talked about and covered way more than national news. I've limited my own viewing to three hours a week during football season and have determined that an outcome of a game that millionaires play shouldn't determine my happiness.>>

To be honest, there are fanatics on both sides, but we should never demonize anyone who questions the government (or who questions opposing theories-there are a lot of absurd stories floating around).

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Opiate Withdrawal

I was on the mild Darvocet for about 6 plus weeks after a serious hip injury. After about a week or two those thing would only work for about an hour. I didn't sleep and I took lot and lots of acetaminophen.

When it was time to stop taking them I obviously had a rough go. I felt queasy and like I wanted to die, nauseous and weak. It was around time Michael Jackson died and jokes about his death were really upsetting and I told my friends to stop because it wasn't funny. If I were well, I'd be the one making the jokes.

My father who was around 70 at the time drove 5 hours to visit and take care of me. I would jump on his every word. Irritable would be an under statement. It wasn't pleasant.

I've had very close friends who have dabbled with Oxycontin and they've appeared quite drained the day after. I've been told it makes them cry even. These are grown mean trying to have a good time. It never ends good.

Sleep, time and water heals. These things serve a purpose. Don't abuse that purpose.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Frisbee golf.

Went hiking the other day with a friend just outside of Allentown. They had a frisbee golf course in the hiking area. I've known that this sport has existed but I never saw it in action before. Yes, people actually play this game.

The game works very much like golf, but instead of hitting a golf ball in a hole with a golf club you throw a disc into a metal basket like thing held up by a post. I saw some people with bags, so I assume that there are various types of discs you can use for distance or control. I found it kind of fascinating to see people competing and getting excited over this. I guess this is for people who aren't very good at golf but desire the outdoors and open spaces of land and a little competition.

I'm waiting for this game to become more popular so it gets televised. I think I'd watch it a lot and remain fascinated by how people get excited about it. There might be other things people could do with their time though. Sorry for judging.