Wednesday, February 16, 2011

When Poof came to Fart!

We were in our run down trailer just east of Pittsburgh, (Old) Exit 7 off the PA Turnpike. Most of the time we lived in Shadyside in Pittsburgh but our crazy old man decided he'd try farming out for awhile, having absolutely no experience. I remember the pathetic beagle and it's dog house under the tree and that weird thing that often happened to his thing upon arousal. This was in the late 70's or early 80's. It was either a rainy day or overcast. I must have been four or five. I hated that farm as it made me do one thing I really hated back then. Work.

The family was in the wood paneled "living room" of the trailer. There was a spinning chair and beat up old couch. It had a weird smell. My father was laying down on the couch as he always did. I think he genuinely found amusement in his children, but often it just seemed like he was bustin' our balls. He'd laugh, with all that power he had. I know this sounds bad but I'm writing this with a wide (shitty) grin on my face (like the one our other dog would have if we caught her eating her own stool). My older bro and sis followed my father's lead on the busting balls part.

I was the new one. I was quite a romantic and driven child back then.

I remember coming out of the bathroom after making a deposit. My father as usual made a loud noise. He'd usually force those things out, and laugh like a child, even into his 40's. As a child of four or five, I must have said something like, "who poofed?" or "you poofed."

I was innocent and well meaning then. I still am.

My dad began laughing in that wise ass way he always did. Looking at his high school picture he had a slight Eddie Haskel vibe about him. I suspect he was more of a "prick"(again, I say this lovingly) back then but he never lost those qualities. And with his laughing my older bro and sis joined in.

They were all conspiring against me it seemed. There was an inside joke that I was about to be let in on. And then I heard it!

He said, "I farted."

They continued to laugh.

I was confused.

This was a new powerful word to me. It was like they revealed f###, or c###, or p####, or sh!t.

One of my siblings told me, "it's called fart, not poof, ha ha ha!"

<<<This reminds me of the story in Genesis when Abram gets his name changed to Abraham.>>>

From then on, I use the word fart. Poof is long forgotten but when hearing it I recall those years in the beat-up depressing trailer on that God-forsaken piece of land.

God bless.

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