Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Honest vs Open/Honest and Open

It's finally dawned on me that there is a difference between being honest and being open. Being honest doesn't mean that you tell everyone about your business (whether you're at the bar or writing a blog). Being open means you talk way too much about your own shit (maybe cause you're a narcissist), or maybe you just like attention and try to shock people. You haven't grown up yet.

Unfortunately I fall into both categories and I think I always have. Secrecy is too much work and too much discipline. Lying is too much work and requires more brain power than telling the truth. You also need a good poker face to tell lies. Since I wear every god damned expression on my face I've been a horrible liar, except in severe situations. I've also had this feeling that if I hide my negative qualities with someone, like in a dating situation, than I'm giving someone a false impression. Sometimes I go overboard on the negative stuff though and this can be misdiagnosed as having a low self-image (which I probably have too).

Open and honest people can be very interesting to talk to, from the receiving end, if they are interesting people. On other occasions it can be depressing and a waste of time if they've had a boring or sad life. Crazy people can be very entertaining to talk to if they are open and honest though sometimes their stories are hard to believe.

Other people are selectively open and honest. Okay, maybe everyone is to some degree. This can be for various reasons. Reasons I won't discuss now but feel free to comment on below. This might be the scariest bunch. If some people are open and honest about weird shit, then secretive about other stuffs, it could lead others' minds to wander. I try to watch out for these people, and keep a distance, in most cases, but sometimes it can be hard if they have an interesting hair cut.

Ultimately it's always good to be honest with everyone but be careful of the information you share unless you're drunk or having a pillow talk discussions. Really make sure you know the person you're opening up to. For me it's tempting, because I haven't fully matured yet, to try to shock people right away. In most cases that's not good and I'm trying to work against that vibe and just be civil.

People will always respect someone who is honest but they might tell someone who is too open to shut the fuck up. Take heed of these words.

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