Dainty Bones hasn't blogged in a while due to self inflicted drama and histrionics concerning a few issues and personal lifestyle choices. Approaches need to be re-evaluated. This will be an introspective blog. If you don't like those kind of blogs then go somewhere else. If you do like these kind of blogs then you probably have a more pathetic life than I do. To each 'is own.
When your locked into an approach as I am, judgement is sometimes clouded. DB's approach has always been about simplicity, instant gratification, self-interest (not rational),compulsion, honesty, and non violence. Some of those values are good, others can be dangerous. There has been little planning really. There has been no thought of future, health, finances, or anything. A few things recently happened that, unwillingly, messed with my head and, at least for now, and have caused me to reconsider the approach. These things, and they are just things, not people, seemed to bring out an ugly somewhat unstable side of my being I've been successfully suppressing for a while.
I've always pretended to not really care. I've really worked at being cold and sterile and pushing that vibe. Not the most mature way to go about things (most get over that in high school I think), but it seemed to work. For some time I've put up some pretty good barriers that in a way have locked me in. This has crippled me in some aspects of my life. A few months ago, I would that say that's helped me a lot, but I'm not sure anymore.
Yes, it seems even laughing things off gets old and pathetic after awhile. I mean I still laugh at my strong social weaknesses and blatant awkwardness around friends/women, but even this has become too strong to ignore. Laughing can only kill the so much of the pain, so you try other things, that, in the long run are harmful and even draining. If you will. The market eventually corrects itself, things either become more sustainable or they collapse.
So, at least mentally, I've given this more thought. The whole outlook on things. Inside I've really had a tough time seeing value in anything, but something kind of changed that (at least at this second). If there is no value in anything then there is nothing to worry about, but if there is, life gets hard, decisions need to be made, sleeping till 1pm on the weekends, eating out all the time, and "partying" all begin to be questioned.
For the few that read this, as you're wiping your tears of joy away for me, nothing has changed yet. My other large flaw is that I can really talk a good game but when it comes to backing it up, I'm just not there. Time is the test. There are a lot of things and thoughts that arise in the life of DaintyBones. Simply feeling good is hard to resist. Let's see what happens.
It's good to go back to basics.