The signs were on the wall since day one. You knew something was up but you couldn't put your finger on it. It was a vibe they put out, the secrecy of everything, if you will. You knew not to ask anything and be polite, but in the end, cover-ups are unsustainable.
You spent weeks and months agonizing over things you weren't sure you should do.
The pain of indecision lasts a long time and at times it can question your manhood. But the little voice was right, your "other" head was wrong. (The "other" head is happy and safer, that "he" is not in control). It's okay to have feelings. Alan Alda has feelings and he's a great man. Okay, maybe he is kind of a pussy. But the point is your intuition has always been correct and only now you're seeing that it's verified.
Now that you know the truth quit wasting time thinking about it and messing with it and trying to accomplish the impossible. You always knew nothing positive would ever come of it, for the most part. That's harsh, there were good things. But they must be forgotten for now. For now they must be despised.
That damn government. That damn monopoly of force!