The signs were on the wall since day one. You knew something was up but you couldn't put your finger on it. It was a vibe they put out, the secrecy of everything, if you will. You knew not to ask anything and be polite, but in the end, cover-ups are unsustainable.
You spent weeks and months agonizing over things you weren't sure you should do.
The pain of indecision lasts a long time and at times it can question your manhood. But the little voice was right, your "other" head was wrong. (The "other" head is happy and safer, that "he" is not in control). It's okay to have feelings. Alan Alda has feelings and he's a great man. Okay, maybe he is kind of a pussy. But the point is your intuition has always been correct and only now you're seeing that it's verified.
Now that you know the truth quit wasting time thinking about it and messing with it and trying to accomplish the impossible. You always knew nothing positive would ever come of it, for the most part. That's harsh, there were good things. But they must be forgotten for now. For now they must be despised.
That damn government. That damn monopoly of force!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
2011: In Review
2011 started with a bang as our house threw a pretty crazy New Year's Party. Brother JT even attended. Our original plans were to take a train to Montreal for the New Years but people started backing out, so the party had a slightly Montreal theme. One guest brought fries and gravy, a Montreal staple (I forgot what they call it up there in Francais).
A close friend got pretty seriously sick but she pulled through. Another positive sign of constant regeneration that our bodies are capable of. She's pretty close to normal from what we can see. Well, she was never normal in the first place. She's reclaimed her authoritarianism. Short people tend to do that.
Around early spring I decided to venture out of Kutztown and hit up the Lehigh Valley more often for weekend socializing. These nights turned into good escapes and was a good way to see different faces. Many of those faces aren't so new anymore and I'm still going back there, but not as regularly. Last weekend was a reminder of those good times at the Your Welcome Inn - first friday - Dance Party.
Most of the early summer wasn't too eventful. I dug myself little holes doing little things that weren't so wise but fun/relaxing at the time. Later on, in July through September, it became interesting though, at least on Saturdays, for a couple months. Met up with an interesting and strange soul who came in as quickly as she went. Lots of silliness and laughs and fucked up (in the best way possible) conversations were had. Thoughts of hurricanes, Long Island, Wickoff St., Radio Flyer, and gyros will always have a warm place in my heart. It's tough to find peeps like that these days. I smile on those times.
The band finally finished our 6 song EP. It turned out good. An old college buddy did a swell job on the cover design. Sadly, the band lost one of its founding member, a week later, Mr. Andrew Macfarlane. This was probably the saddest news I heard all year. Macfarlane can attest to my behaviour when he dropped the bomb on me. It was worse than getting dumped. His vibe and approach are not easily replaced. But his contributions helped shape the sound of the band. Subtle yet strong.
The biggest change during this year is that I moved out and am now living alone on Main St. It's almost like a throwback to 2001, in many ways. In many ways it's not. I'm on the third floor this time and up the street about a block, same side. I have a nice view of everything from my desk that I'm typing at now. The decision to move was impulsive. Right now I think it was a good choice. I haven't been to the bar in a week (I've been sick), but, my drinking has gone down. I rarely drink at home, I have 6 Yuenglings sitting in my fridge now, that will probably be there for whenever someone comes over.
This about sums up my year. Another one down, hopefully, not many more to go. As I look ahead to 2012, we have a Paris-London trip planned early in January. We'll see what happens next.
A close friend got pretty seriously sick but she pulled through. Another positive sign of constant regeneration that our bodies are capable of. She's pretty close to normal from what we can see. Well, she was never normal in the first place. She's reclaimed her authoritarianism. Short people tend to do that.
Around early spring I decided to venture out of Kutztown and hit up the Lehigh Valley more often for weekend socializing. These nights turned into good escapes and was a good way to see different faces. Many of those faces aren't so new anymore and I'm still going back there, but not as regularly. Last weekend was a reminder of those good times at the Your Welcome Inn - first friday - Dance Party.
Most of the early summer wasn't too eventful. I dug myself little holes doing little things that weren't so wise but fun/relaxing at the time. Later on, in July through September, it became interesting though, at least on Saturdays, for a couple months. Met up with an interesting and strange soul who came in as quickly as she went. Lots of silliness and laughs and fucked up (in the best way possible) conversations were had. Thoughts of hurricanes, Long Island, Wickoff St., Radio Flyer, and gyros will always have a warm place in my heart. It's tough to find peeps like that these days. I smile on those times.
The band finally finished our 6 song EP. It turned out good. An old college buddy did a swell job on the cover design. Sadly, the band lost one of its founding member, a week later, Mr. Andrew Macfarlane. This was probably the saddest news I heard all year. Macfarlane can attest to my behaviour when he dropped the bomb on me. It was worse than getting dumped. His vibe and approach are not easily replaced. But his contributions helped shape the sound of the band. Subtle yet strong.
The biggest change during this year is that I moved out and am now living alone on Main St. It's almost like a throwback to 2001, in many ways. In many ways it's not. I'm on the third floor this time and up the street about a block, same side. I have a nice view of everything from my desk that I'm typing at now. The decision to move was impulsive. Right now I think it was a good choice. I haven't been to the bar in a week (I've been sick), but, my drinking has gone down. I rarely drink at home, I have 6 Yuenglings sitting in my fridge now, that will probably be there for whenever someone comes over.
This about sums up my year. Another one down, hopefully, not many more to go. As I look ahead to 2012, we have a Paris-London trip planned early in January. We'll see what happens next.
Friday, December 2, 2011
On Returning to the Game
I'm returning to the game. The first mistake is even discussing the game. I've already blown the game with the few that have read this.
Here we go.
All that this means is that it's really just time to grow up and get out there and cast all forms of genuine heartfelt emotion towards those of the opposite sex to the wayside. Manipulation and objectification is the name of the game. It's not what I was taught or how I was raised by my family - it's just the current reality of the scene and those in it. Of course, those who object to manipulation and objectification are also the greatest causes of it, and practice it themselves regularly. But that's neither here nor there. In the end it is all about self, instant gratification and living in the moment. Holding on to things has proven to be a draining exercise.
So, f### all that Alan Alda style emotion, whining and caring. Having grown up hearing that this is how to be has been a total lie. I'm moving towards the superficial. Honesty and openness just leaves a man vulnerable to exploitation. Honesty and openness will never win "the game."
Cremation of care.
Here we go.
All that this means is that it's really just time to grow up and get out there and cast all forms of genuine heartfelt emotion towards those of the opposite sex to the wayside. Manipulation and objectification is the name of the game. It's not what I was taught or how I was raised by my family - it's just the current reality of the scene and those in it. Of course, those who object to manipulation and objectification are also the greatest causes of it, and practice it themselves regularly. But that's neither here nor there. In the end it is all about self, instant gratification and living in the moment. Holding on to things has proven to be a draining exercise.
So, f### all that Alan Alda style emotion, whining and caring. Having grown up hearing that this is how to be has been a total lie. I'm moving towards the superficial. Honesty and openness just leaves a man vulnerable to exploitation. Honesty and openness will never win "the game."
Cremation of care.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Honest vs Open/Honest and Open
It's finally dawned on me that there is a difference between being honest and being open. Being honest doesn't mean that you tell everyone about your business (whether you're at the bar or writing a blog). Being open means you talk way too much about your own shit (maybe cause you're a narcissist), or maybe you just like attention and try to shock people. You haven't grown up yet.
Unfortunately I fall into both categories and I think I always have. Secrecy is too much work and too much discipline. Lying is too much work and requires more brain power than telling the truth. You also need a good poker face to tell lies. Since I wear every god damned expression on my face I've been a horrible liar, except in severe situations. I've also had this feeling that if I hide my negative qualities with someone, like in a dating situation, than I'm giving someone a false impression. Sometimes I go overboard on the negative stuff though and this can be misdiagnosed as having a low self-image (which I probably have too).
Open and honest people can be very interesting to talk to, from the receiving end, if they are interesting people. On other occasions it can be depressing and a waste of time if they've had a boring or sad life. Crazy people can be very entertaining to talk to if they are open and honest though sometimes their stories are hard to believe.
Other people are selectively open and honest. Okay, maybe everyone is to some degree. This can be for various reasons. Reasons I won't discuss now but feel free to comment on below. This might be the scariest bunch. If some people are open and honest about weird shit, then secretive about other stuffs, it could lead others' minds to wander. I try to watch out for these people, and keep a distance, in most cases, but sometimes it can be hard if they have an interesting hair cut.
Ultimately it's always good to be honest with everyone but be careful of the information you share unless you're drunk or having a pillow talk discussions. Really make sure you know the person you're opening up to. For me it's tempting, because I haven't fully matured yet, to try to shock people right away. In most cases that's not good and I'm trying to work against that vibe and just be civil.
People will always respect someone who is honest but they might tell someone who is too open to shut the fuck up. Take heed of these words.
Unfortunately I fall into both categories and I think I always have. Secrecy is too much work and too much discipline. Lying is too much work and requires more brain power than telling the truth. You also need a good poker face to tell lies. Since I wear every god damned expression on my face I've been a horrible liar, except in severe situations. I've also had this feeling that if I hide my negative qualities with someone, like in a dating situation, than I'm giving someone a false impression. Sometimes I go overboard on the negative stuff though and this can be misdiagnosed as having a low self-image (which I probably have too).
Open and honest people can be very interesting to talk to, from the receiving end, if they are interesting people. On other occasions it can be depressing and a waste of time if they've had a boring or sad life. Crazy people can be very entertaining to talk to if they are open and honest though sometimes their stories are hard to believe.
Other people are selectively open and honest. Okay, maybe everyone is to some degree. This can be for various reasons. Reasons I won't discuss now but feel free to comment on below. This might be the scariest bunch. If some people are open and honest about weird shit, then secretive about other stuffs, it could lead others' minds to wander. I try to watch out for these people, and keep a distance, in most cases, but sometimes it can be hard if they have an interesting hair cut.
Ultimately it's always good to be honest with everyone but be careful of the information you share unless you're drunk or having a pillow talk discussions. Really make sure you know the person you're opening up to. For me it's tempting, because I haven't fully matured yet, to try to shock people right away. In most cases that's not good and I'm trying to work against that vibe and just be civil.
People will always respect someone who is honest but they might tell someone who is too open to shut the fuck up. Take heed of these words.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Wants.
It's clear and obvious we want what we can't have or think we can't have. Of course when we get such things (if that happens), even they tend to get old. I really wish things weren't like that. It makes me sad.
A way to remedy such situations is to simply not want anything. This goes against human nature though. Fighting human nature is worse than wanting something you can't or aren't supposed to have. For obsessives, like me, the challenge to not want and not hyper-focus on something is extremely hard. This leads to a lot of wasted energy and thinking and pacing around, not to mention heavy breathing. They make medication to help this problem but I refuse to take it.
What's worse than that is we generally desire things that are the worst for us. Why is this? I think everyone is like this. The wise souls are able to keep that in check and use their brains. Those driven by emotion fail and fall by the wayside making asses of themselves in bar room situations. They aren't bad people, they convince themselves of delusions. They aren't in reality nor do they want to be. That would be boring to them.
The above mentioned then leads to internal psychological drama. We play the dramas out in our heads. We invent scenarios based on a few words or actions spoken. The mind races. We build our whole approach on things that could go either way. We try to be rational about it but that would kill the mental chaos. That would leave us to do more productive and beneficial things for our own well being. Instead we choose to drain ourselves.
Alcohol and other substances sometime help the situation for the time being. Friends and projects have and always will be the best cure. Getting wrapped up into something, whether it's writing a shitty half assed blog or by forming a band and setting up gigs - these little things can work as helpful little obsessions that actually produce something and in a tiny way entertain the few that read or listen. Painting and drawing are good options too.
Between obsessing and apathy I'm going to go with obsessing.
+dB+
A way to remedy such situations is to simply not want anything. This goes against human nature though. Fighting human nature is worse than wanting something you can't or aren't supposed to have. For obsessives, like me, the challenge to not want and not hyper-focus on something is extremely hard. This leads to a lot of wasted energy and thinking and pacing around, not to mention heavy breathing. They make medication to help this problem but I refuse to take it.
What's worse than that is we generally desire things that are the worst for us. Why is this? I think everyone is like this. The wise souls are able to keep that in check and use their brains. Those driven by emotion fail and fall by the wayside making asses of themselves in bar room situations. They aren't bad people, they convince themselves of delusions. They aren't in reality nor do they want to be. That would be boring to them.
The above mentioned then leads to internal psychological drama. We play the dramas out in our heads. We invent scenarios based on a few words or actions spoken. The mind races. We build our whole approach on things that could go either way. We try to be rational about it but that would kill the mental chaos. That would leave us to do more productive and beneficial things for our own well being. Instead we choose to drain ourselves.
Alcohol and other substances sometime help the situation for the time being. Friends and projects have and always will be the best cure. Getting wrapped up into something, whether it's writing a shitty half assed blog or by forming a band and setting up gigs - these little things can work as helpful little obsessions that actually produce something and in a tiny way entertain the few that read or listen. Painting and drawing are good options too.
Between obsessing and apathy I'm going to go with obsessing.
+dB+
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Main St.
I moved back to Main St. in this small college town I've been living in for almost half of my life. When I graduated from university, I had a place on Main St. by myself. I did that for a few years then moved in with friends. I've lived with people (including my younger bro) for the last eight years. A lot memories were had at these places but it came time to go solo again.
My decision to move was impulsive. It was made rather quickly and based on feelings (not always wise). I was in a pretty weird mindset (which I won't get into, but it was strong) and I started looking at things, and my life. That's pretty scary sometimes, you should try it. Something needed to be done. There was a nice place available, so I jumped on it. If you've read my posts maybe you've observed that I'm selfish and self-absorbed. I think that also played a part in my choice. I think what I'm trying to do is take more control of things. Sadly, we're all getting older, things change (I've also grown a nice beard - and opted for straighter locks), and we will eventually get old and die. Changes in scenery are, most of the time, beneficial.
I will miss sharing a house with the guys. They probably won't miss the messes I've created in the kitchen, etc. There is something, almost family like, about living with folks (at least for me). I don't think I'll be able to accumulate the stories and the hi jinx we all racked through the last eight years. The parties, gatherings, breakfasts, beers, constant redundant poop and sodomy jokes, cook outs, the burps and giggles from down the hall have all ended for me.
In exchange I'll be getting the late night sounds of drunken college kids (hopefully some tramps will be in the mix), the ability to walk around my place naked (which is all I ever wanted), and the traffic below. There is something kind of nice about laying in a big warm bed and hearing traffic outside. It could be nice.
The responsibilities of taking care of ALL of my own bills and rent are no upon me. Back to reality.
I'd like to thank those who have shared a space with me over those years and put up with my antics, quirks, redundancy, laziness, and messiness. There could've been a lot more complaining about some of the slop I left in the kitchen but for the most part you kept your cool (save Tweet - RIP). A special thanks also goes to those who helped me move, in literally less than 2 hours. That was amazing. Things may go up or down from here. I have no idea which way they will go. Life is hard (and unpredictable).
Bless n keep,
dB.
My decision to move was impulsive. It was made rather quickly and based on feelings (not always wise). I was in a pretty weird mindset (which I won't get into, but it was strong) and I started looking at things, and my life. That's pretty scary sometimes, you should try it. Something needed to be done. There was a nice place available, so I jumped on it. If you've read my posts maybe you've observed that I'm selfish and self-absorbed. I think that also played a part in my choice. I think what I'm trying to do is take more control of things. Sadly, we're all getting older, things change (I've also grown a nice beard - and opted for straighter locks), and we will eventually get old and die. Changes in scenery are, most of the time, beneficial.
I will miss sharing a house with the guys. They probably won't miss the messes I've created in the kitchen, etc. There is something, almost family like, about living with folks (at least for me). I don't think I'll be able to accumulate the stories and the hi jinx we all racked through the last eight years. The parties, gatherings, breakfasts, beers, constant redundant poop and sodomy jokes, cook outs, the burps and giggles from down the hall have all ended for me.
In exchange I'll be getting the late night sounds of drunken college kids (hopefully some tramps will be in the mix), the ability to walk around my place naked (which is all I ever wanted), and the traffic below. There is something kind of nice about laying in a big warm bed and hearing traffic outside. It could be nice.
The responsibilities of taking care of ALL of my own bills and rent are no upon me. Back to reality.
I'd like to thank those who have shared a space with me over those years and put up with my antics, quirks, redundancy, laziness, and messiness. There could've been a lot more complaining about some of the slop I left in the kitchen but for the most part you kept your cool (save Tweet - RIP). A special thanks also goes to those who helped me move, in literally less than 2 hours. That was amazing. Things may go up or down from here. I have no idea which way they will go. Life is hard (and unpredictable).
Bless n keep,
dB.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Being Objective/Guy Talk
I ran into a co-worker today at a major bookstore during break. One of the few guys I work with that I feel I can shoot the shit with and speak my mind. We had some coffees (which I'm feeling right now) and decided to have a conversation about work related issues. It's not uncommon for single males in the workplace to have such discussions and sometimes they lead to talks about girls and who we think is attractive and like to date. This isn't a crime of any kind.
The conversation was neither loud nor obnoxious. The conversation was not disrespectful. It was quite objective and honest. The term "rack" may have come up on occasion, once or twice maybe, but it was far from the main idea of the dialogue. This is a perfectly natural approach. Guys look at certain things and at times discuss them with other guys. I'm quite sorry if any of this is hurtful to anyone. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm probably the most sensitive guy around (sensitive to my own complex feelings that is). Maybe too much for my own good.
A few booths down was a girl on her notebook computer wearing headphones. She wasn't very far away. I noticed her texting a bit, and sticking around. She didn't seem very happy or very sad. I didn't notice much emotion either way.
We continued talking, me and my co-worker bud, I believe the topic changed to office politics and the corporate environment. The girl a few booths down was packing up. She seemed to be rushing. She stood and took a few steps towards with her bags in hand and said, "excuse me, I overheard your conversation, maybe you guys would be able to pick-up a woman if you didn't see them as objects!"
She left quickly!
Me and my friend looked at each other with surprise and confusion. As she got further away I started to laugh. WTF?
Let's review:
How I would've responded:
There are other issues at play too but I won't get into them as I don't want to stir the pot anymore than I have already today.
Good night.
As always, these are true stories.
The conversation was neither loud nor obnoxious. The conversation was not disrespectful. It was quite objective and honest. The term "rack" may have come up on occasion, once or twice maybe, but it was far from the main idea of the dialogue. This is a perfectly natural approach. Guys look at certain things and at times discuss them with other guys. I'm quite sorry if any of this is hurtful to anyone. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm probably the most sensitive guy around (sensitive to my own complex feelings that is). Maybe too much for my own good.
A few booths down was a girl on her notebook computer wearing headphones. She wasn't very far away. I noticed her texting a bit, and sticking around. She didn't seem very happy or very sad. I didn't notice much emotion either way.
We continued talking, me and my co-worker bud, I believe the topic changed to office politics and the corporate environment. The girl a few booths down was packing up. She seemed to be rushing. She stood and took a few steps towards with her bags in hand and said, "excuse me, I overheard your conversation, maybe you guys would be able to pick-up a woman if you didn't see them as objects!"
She left quickly!
Me and my friend looked at each other with surprise and confusion. As she got further away I started to laugh. WTF?
Let's review:
- We weren't talking loud.
- There was no juvenile giggling or disrespect towards anyone.
- A majority of our talk had to do with interactions.
- It was a private conversation.
- It was a private conversation that had nothing to do with her.
- It was a private conversation that most folks with penises have with each other.
- It was a private conversation.
How I would've responded:
- Is it any of your fucking business?
- I probably have more female friends than you do.
- Is it any of your fucking business?
- Did you just get dumped?
There are other issues at play too but I won't get into them as I don't want to stir the pot anymore than I have already today.
Good night.
As always, these are true stories.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Hands Off Approach as He Walks into the Bathroom.
I was in the institute's (not total quality) bathroom this morning, doing my ritual, and this summer memory came to mind. It caused some internal laughter, hope it touches you the same way. If not, suck it.
This was around '96 or '97, around the time the Bulls beat the Jazz in the NBA championships, not that the basketball stuff relates to the story about to be shared, but I just thought of it now. We took a road trip out to Colorado. This involved me, my younger bro, and my old man. It was in a silver oldsmobile. There was a lot of subtle provoking, tension from me and bro, and occasional shouts of anger from my old man. Dealing with a 2 day drive (one-way) is enough to handle but we tried to make it worse. If there are two things I excel in, it's pushing buttons and picking an argument. Those things go well with road trips as I found out. I'm quite amazed we weren't dropped off somewhere in between or just shot on the side of the road.
On the return drive, after being on the road for probably around thirty hours (Denver to central Ohio) we pulled off at a rest stop. We were all emotionally warn out (as we always were in the family) but also physically exhausted. We needed a break and a stretch of the legs. All of us had to pee. Of course.
Younger bro walked into the rest stop, quickly and ahead of me, but not far ahead. This was a normal American highway rest stop, very concrete, with bathrooms inside. These bathrooms specified where each gender should go with clearly written signs. One of the signs said "men" and the other said "women". Naturally.
As we got inside I noticed younger bro making a b-line for the Ladies room. We were all tired as stated above and our judgements were clouded. For the record, we were straight-edge (if you're keeping track). He may have been five feet in front of me or less. I looked at the sign. I looked at his back as he was getting closer to the wide opened entrance. My mouth opened to warn him, but the dark voices that control me (to this day) said that I should let him be. Laissez-faire. I said nothing then turned around and went to the men's room.
As I was standing in front of the urinal taking my well needed piss I began laughing uncontrollably to myself. I had trouble aiming (the "s"-force). The dudes on either side of me probably thought I wasn't well. I was a hysterical warn out mess (nothing has changed). I thought, what were the other ladies in the restroom thinking when they heard him piss? It's a different sound, a stronger sound, than a woman's trickle.
Other questions:
I zipped up and washed up and headed to the main area in the rest stop. There stood younger bro, quite embarrassed and dejected. I, of course, kept laughing. Younger bro was already a shy kid but this really broke him. He didn't see the humor in there. An old lady walked by and he, being upset and embarrassed, told me that she was in there. He was actually trying to hide and not be noticed. This made me laugh harder. That poor woman I thought.
As far as the specific details of this incident goes - like what really happened inside - it remains unclear. Younger bro refused to disclose information. I can't remember if we told the old man. This may have relieved the tension (at least for me) for the remaining five or six hours.
This was around '96 or '97, around the time the Bulls beat the Jazz in the NBA championships, not that the basketball stuff relates to the story about to be shared, but I just thought of it now. We took a road trip out to Colorado. This involved me, my younger bro, and my old man. It was in a silver oldsmobile. There was a lot of subtle provoking, tension from me and bro, and occasional shouts of anger from my old man. Dealing with a 2 day drive (one-way) is enough to handle but we tried to make it worse. If there are two things I excel in, it's pushing buttons and picking an argument. Those things go well with road trips as I found out. I'm quite amazed we weren't dropped off somewhere in between or just shot on the side of the road.
((This is one of millions of reasons why I will not pro-create. Sorry humanity))
On the return drive, after being on the road for probably around thirty hours (Denver to central Ohio) we pulled off at a rest stop. We were all emotionally warn out (as we always were in the family) but also physically exhausted. We needed a break and a stretch of the legs. All of us had to pee. Of course.
Younger bro walked into the rest stop, quickly and ahead of me, but not far ahead. This was a normal American highway rest stop, very concrete, with bathrooms inside. These bathrooms specified where each gender should go with clearly written signs. One of the signs said "men" and the other said "women". Naturally.
As we got inside I noticed younger bro making a b-line for the Ladies room. We were all tired as stated above and our judgements were clouded. For the record, we were straight-edge (if you're keeping track). He may have been five feet in front of me or less. I looked at the sign. I looked at his back as he was getting closer to the wide opened entrance. My mouth opened to warn him, but the dark voices that control me (to this day) said that I should let him be. Laissez-faire. I said nothing then turned around and went to the men's room.
As I was standing in front of the urinal taking my well needed piss I began laughing uncontrollably to myself. I had trouble aiming (the "s"-force). The dudes on either side of me probably thought I wasn't well. I was a hysterical warn out mess (nothing has changed). I thought, what were the other ladies in the restroom thinking when they heard him piss? It's a different sound, a stronger sound, than a woman's trickle.
Other questions:
- Did he wash up in there next to an old lady?
- Did he run into anyone in there?
- Did they see how his feet were facing the toilet?
- Did they call security?
- When did it occur to him he was peeing in the ladies room?
I zipped up and washed up and headed to the main area in the rest stop. There stood younger bro, quite embarrassed and dejected. I, of course, kept laughing. Younger bro was already a shy kid but this really broke him. He didn't see the humor in there. An old lady walked by and he, being upset and embarrassed, told me that she was in there. He was actually trying to hide and not be noticed. This made me laugh harder. That poor woman I thought.
As far as the specific details of this incident goes - like what really happened inside - it remains unclear. Younger bro refused to disclose information. I can't remember if we told the old man. This may have relieved the tension (at least for me) for the remaining five or six hours.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Back to Basics
Dainty Bones hasn't blogged in a while due to self inflicted drama and histrionics concerning a few issues and personal lifestyle choices. Approaches need to be re-evaluated. This will be an introspective blog. If you don't like those kind of blogs then go somewhere else. If you do like these kind of blogs then you probably have a more pathetic life than I do. To each 'is own.
When your locked into an approach as I am, judgement is sometimes clouded. DB's approach has always been about simplicity, instant gratification, self-interest (not rational),compulsion, honesty, and non violence. Some of those values are good, others can be dangerous. There has been little planning really. There has been no thought of future, health, finances, or anything. A few things recently happened that, unwillingly, messed with my head and, at least for now, and have caused me to reconsider the approach. These things, and they are just things, not people, seemed to bring out an ugly somewhat unstable side of my being I've been successfully suppressing for a while.
I've always pretended to not really care. I've really worked at being cold and sterile and pushing that vibe. Not the most mature way to go about things (most get over that in high school I think), but it seemed to work. For some time I've put up some pretty good barriers that in a way have locked me in. This has crippled me in some aspects of my life. A few months ago, I would that say that's helped me a lot, but I'm not sure anymore.
Yes, it seems even laughing things off gets old and pathetic after awhile. I mean I still laugh at my strong social weaknesses and blatant awkwardness around friends/women, but even this has become too strong to ignore. Laughing can only kill the so much of the pain, so you try other things, that, in the long run are harmful and even draining. If you will. The market eventually corrects itself, things either become more sustainable or they collapse.
So, at least mentally, I've given this more thought. The whole outlook on things. Inside I've really had a tough time seeing value in anything, but something kind of changed that (at least at this second). If there is no value in anything then there is nothing to worry about, but if there is, life gets hard, decisions need to be made, sleeping till 1pm on the weekends, eating out all the time, and "partying" all begin to be questioned.
For the few that read this, as you're wiping your tears of joy away for me, nothing has changed yet. My other large flaw is that I can really talk a good game but when it comes to backing it up, I'm just not there. Time is the test. There are a lot of things and thoughts that arise in the life of DaintyBones. Simply feeling good is hard to resist. Let's see what happens.
It's good to go back to basics.
When your locked into an approach as I am, judgement is sometimes clouded. DB's approach has always been about simplicity, instant gratification, self-interest (not rational),compulsion, honesty, and non violence. Some of those values are good, others can be dangerous. There has been little planning really. There has been no thought of future, health, finances, or anything. A few things recently happened that, unwillingly, messed with my head and, at least for now, and have caused me to reconsider the approach. These things, and they are just things, not people, seemed to bring out an ugly somewhat unstable side of my being I've been successfully suppressing for a while.
I've always pretended to not really care. I've really worked at being cold and sterile and pushing that vibe. Not the most mature way to go about things (most get over that in high school I think), but it seemed to work. For some time I've put up some pretty good barriers that in a way have locked me in. This has crippled me in some aspects of my life. A few months ago, I would that say that's helped me a lot, but I'm not sure anymore.
Yes, it seems even laughing things off gets old and pathetic after awhile. I mean I still laugh at my strong social weaknesses and blatant awkwardness around friends/women, but even this has become too strong to ignore. Laughing can only kill the so much of the pain, so you try other things, that, in the long run are harmful and even draining. If you will. The market eventually corrects itself, things either become more sustainable or they collapse.
So, at least mentally, I've given this more thought. The whole outlook on things. Inside I've really had a tough time seeing value in anything, but something kind of changed that (at least at this second). If there is no value in anything then there is nothing to worry about, but if there is, life gets hard, decisions need to be made, sleeping till 1pm on the weekends, eating out all the time, and "partying" all begin to be questioned.
For the few that read this, as you're wiping your tears of joy away for me, nothing has changed yet. My other large flaw is that I can really talk a good game but when it comes to backing it up, I'm just not there. Time is the test. There are a lot of things and thoughts that arise in the life of DaintyBones. Simply feeling good is hard to resist. Let's see what happens.
It's good to go back to basics.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Break Coming Up
I have a break coming up. Much needed. Things have been completely out of whack for awhile. I think I'm going to be going through a big change soon but I don't know what. I'm very irratable these days. I need to find new amusements, the current ones are getting old. Music remains enjoyable though.
Things generally seem miserable. I need to take a trip and get out of town. Previous decisions are catching up with me. I'm watching more television these days. I can't remember the last time I was physically active. Sleep is safe. The bright spots in my life might be turning sour. It's my own doing.
I continue to feed my face. Good tasting food is a plus.
Things generally seem miserable. I need to take a trip and get out of town. Previous decisions are catching up with me. I'm watching more television these days. I can't remember the last time I was physically active. Sleep is safe. The bright spots in my life might be turning sour. It's my own doing.
I continue to feed my face. Good tasting food is a plus.
Monday, September 26, 2011
A series of obsessions.
It seems like my life has become a series of obsessions. This isn't a healthy way to go about things. Could be a band, a political or economic ideology, and unfortunately sometimes it's a person - not that I'd ever harm anyone, I just tend to think about one specific thing constantly.
One thing that stands out was playing music. When we first starting playing live music, and if I thought we had a good gig (I'd probably be frightened to hear it now - as we've improved), after the gig I'd find myself pacing around in my own bedroom, with my mind racing, recapturing moments that I thought were great. This might go on for an hour or so. If you were standing outside my bedroom you'd probably hear me laugh to myself or dance around. My dad would do this sometimes about various shit. "Stop talking to yourself", we would say. This is what we thought was normal.
One I remember as a child was a pair of sneakers that I needed. These were the Nike Air Cross Trainers (this was maybe around '87-'88). It was tough to find kid's sizes around and I called every store. I think I waited seven months until I found out a local Foot Locker had them. With the acquisition of the shoes, the obsession soon faded.
When I first discovered that 9/11 was an inside that would be all I would talk about. This was ideal for drunken bar room situations. Preferably during heavy drinking. I've provoked shouting matches over it before. In hindsight, this was far from any sort of healthy approach to the topic, but it provided me with great amusement/entertainment. Try it sometime. I'm still of the belief that 9/11 was an inside job. Anyone with a brain who looks into building 7 could see something not right happened.
A couple years ago I had a mild obsession about making homemade pizza that paid off pretty well. I'd purchased a pizza stone and a peel and seriously got into making dough. My housemates were quite tolerant of me destroying the kitchen with flour and olive oil. I tried various conventional and unconventional techniques for dough and got pretty comfortable with sliding the pizza on and off the stone. I found this to be quite rewarding and maybe even healthy. Of course, me being the insecure competition freak (not just satisfied with making good pizza), I had to turn the thing into a competition among friends. Which I've always won. And the competition was pretty stiff too. I don't make pizza all that much anymore unless it's for competition.
These are just a few harmless examples, I could add more, but I won't. While these are somewhat safe fixations, it would be nice to obsess over positive things, like being healthy, making lots of money, and helping my neighbors. I'm pretty sure those obsessions would make me feel good inside but I'm just not there yet and I don't know if I'll ever be. Unfortunately I'm more of an instant gratification guy...ya know, like the animals or children.
yours truly,
dB
One thing that stands out was playing music. When we first starting playing live music, and if I thought we had a good gig (I'd probably be frightened to hear it now - as we've improved), after the gig I'd find myself pacing around in my own bedroom, with my mind racing, recapturing moments that I thought were great. This might go on for an hour or so. If you were standing outside my bedroom you'd probably hear me laugh to myself or dance around. My dad would do this sometimes about various shit. "Stop talking to yourself", we would say. This is what we thought was normal.
One I remember as a child was a pair of sneakers that I needed. These were the Nike Air Cross Trainers (this was maybe around '87-'88). It was tough to find kid's sizes around and I called every store. I think I waited seven months until I found out a local Foot Locker had them. With the acquisition of the shoes, the obsession soon faded.
When I first discovered that 9/11 was an inside that would be all I would talk about. This was ideal for drunken bar room situations. Preferably during heavy drinking. I've provoked shouting matches over it before. In hindsight, this was far from any sort of healthy approach to the topic, but it provided me with great amusement/entertainment. Try it sometime. I'm still of the belief that 9/11 was an inside job. Anyone with a brain who looks into building 7 could see something not right happened.
A couple years ago I had a mild obsession about making homemade pizza that paid off pretty well. I'd purchased a pizza stone and a peel and seriously got into making dough. My housemates were quite tolerant of me destroying the kitchen with flour and olive oil. I tried various conventional and unconventional techniques for dough and got pretty comfortable with sliding the pizza on and off the stone. I found this to be quite rewarding and maybe even healthy. Of course, me being the insecure competition freak (not just satisfied with making good pizza), I had to turn the thing into a competition among friends. Which I've always won. And the competition was pretty stiff too. I don't make pizza all that much anymore unless it's for competition.
These are just a few harmless examples, I could add more, but I won't. While these are somewhat safe fixations, it would be nice to obsess over positive things, like being healthy, making lots of money, and helping my neighbors. I'm pretty sure those obsessions would make me feel good inside but I'm just not there yet and I don't know if I'll ever be. Unfortunately I'm more of an instant gratification guy...ya know, like the animals or children.
yours truly,
dB
Monday, September 12, 2011
9/11 Football/Religion.
I was watching the Steeler game a little bit yesterday, from what I could stomach, and announcer Phil Simms, who strikes me as a nice guy, said some silly things regarding 9/11 and what a certain player had said.
During the "killing" of Bin Laden earlier this year this player had tweeted, to summarize, we shouldn't celebrate death, we've only heard one side of the story, and that a plane taking down a building is hard to believe. Click the below link for exact verbiage.
http://thescoopblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2011/05/rashard-mendenhall-historian-a.html
Of course at that time the NFL freaked out, and the owners of the Steelers had to put out a statement. Official statements have always kind of annoyed me, especially when it comes to something that is not clear. It's as if they are trying to steer your thinking. Tell you what you should accept. As if they're saying, we're the NFL, a large corporation that makes lots of money, accept the official government story.
Yesterday Phil Simms did the same thing. I believe he used the words dangerous and inflammatory (I couldn't find the quote). This commentary was irrelevant to the game and served to again push the official story. The religion.
<<side note: It's my belief (and I've heard it argued) that professional sports, football specifically, push an agenda of militarism, while serving as a larger distraction, mainly on men, who derive their masculinity from sitting back and watching their team win. Sports are talked about and covered way more than national news. I've limited my own viewing to three hours a week during football season and have determined that an outcome of a game that millionaires play shouldn't determine my happiness.>>
To be honest, there are fanatics on both sides, but we should never demonize anyone who questions the government (or who questions opposing theories-there are a lot of absurd stories floating around).
During the "killing" of Bin Laden earlier this year this player had tweeted, to summarize, we shouldn't celebrate death, we've only heard one side of the story, and that a plane taking down a building is hard to believe. Click the below link for exact verbiage.
http://thescoopblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2011/05/rashard-mendenhall-historian-a.html
Of course at that time the NFL freaked out, and the owners of the Steelers had to put out a statement. Official statements have always kind of annoyed me, especially when it comes to something that is not clear. It's as if they are trying to steer your thinking. Tell you what you should accept. As if they're saying, we're the NFL, a large corporation that makes lots of money, accept the official government story.
Yesterday Phil Simms did the same thing. I believe he used the words dangerous and inflammatory (I couldn't find the quote). This commentary was irrelevant to the game and served to again push the official story. The religion.
<<side note: It's my belief (and I've heard it argued) that professional sports, football specifically, push an agenda of militarism, while serving as a larger distraction, mainly on men, who derive their masculinity from sitting back and watching their team win. Sports are talked about and covered way more than national news. I've limited my own viewing to three hours a week during football season and have determined that an outcome of a game that millionaires play shouldn't determine my happiness.>>
To be honest, there are fanatics on both sides, but we should never demonize anyone who questions the government (or who questions opposing theories-there are a lot of absurd stories floating around).
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Opiate Withdrawal
I was on the mild Darvocet for about 6 plus weeks after a serious hip injury. After about a week or two those thing would only work for about an hour. I didn't sleep and I took lot and lots of acetaminophen.
When it was time to stop taking them I obviously had a rough go. I felt queasy and like I wanted to die, nauseous and weak. It was around time Michael Jackson died and jokes about his death were really upsetting and I told my friends to stop because it wasn't funny. If I were well, I'd be the one making the jokes.
My father who was around 70 at the time drove 5 hours to visit and take care of me. I would jump on his every word. Irritable would be an under statement. It wasn't pleasant.
I've had very close friends who have dabbled with Oxycontin and they've appeared quite drained the day after. I've been told it makes them cry even. These are grown mean trying to have a good time. It never ends good.
Sleep, time and water heals. These things serve a purpose. Don't abuse that purpose.
When it was time to stop taking them I obviously had a rough go. I felt queasy and like I wanted to die, nauseous and weak. It was around time Michael Jackson died and jokes about his death were really upsetting and I told my friends to stop because it wasn't funny. If I were well, I'd be the one making the jokes.
My father who was around 70 at the time drove 5 hours to visit and take care of me. I would jump on his every word. Irritable would be an under statement. It wasn't pleasant.
I've had very close friends who have dabbled with Oxycontin and they've appeared quite drained the day after. I've been told it makes them cry even. These are grown mean trying to have a good time. It never ends good.
Sleep, time and water heals. These things serve a purpose. Don't abuse that purpose.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Frisbee golf.
Went hiking the other day with a friend just outside of Allentown. They had a frisbee golf course in the hiking area. I've known that this sport has existed but I never saw it in action before. Yes, people actually play this game.
The game works very much like golf, but instead of hitting a golf ball in a hole with a golf club you throw a disc into a metal basket like thing held up by a post. I saw some people with bags, so I assume that there are various types of discs you can use for distance or control. I found it kind of fascinating to see people competing and getting excited over this. I guess this is for people who aren't very good at golf but desire the outdoors and open spaces of land and a little competition.
I'm waiting for this game to become more popular so it gets televised. I think I'd watch it a lot and remain fascinated by how people get excited about it. There might be other things people could do with their time though. Sorry for judging.
The game works very much like golf, but instead of hitting a golf ball in a hole with a golf club you throw a disc into a metal basket like thing held up by a post. I saw some people with bags, so I assume that there are various types of discs you can use for distance or control. I found it kind of fascinating to see people competing and getting excited over this. I guess this is for people who aren't very good at golf but desire the outdoors and open spaces of land and a little competition.
I'm waiting for this game to become more popular so it gets televised. I think I'd watch it a lot and remain fascinated by how people get excited about it. There might be other things people could do with their time though. Sorry for judging.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
DaintyBones stats....how are we doing?
I have about 5000+ hits in under a year.
I post a lot. But I don't advertise on twitter...really at all...
I have about 600 hits from the UK and I'm happy I'm touching lives overseas. We've been to most continents, the middle east ( i know thats not a continent), africa, asia, south america....australia...it's a global blog of luv and understanding.
For those who read, thank you. I know most of my hits are from my friends and they've been very nice and very consistent. Please feel free to comment and ask for what you would like to read about (within the realm of decency - my mom reads this).
Blogs get tougher to write as you go on.
Love always,
dB.
I post a lot. But I don't advertise on twitter...really at all...
I have about 600 hits from the UK and I'm happy I'm touching lives overseas. We've been to most continents, the middle east ( i know thats not a continent), africa, asia, south america....australia...it's a global blog of luv and understanding.
For those who read, thank you. I know most of my hits are from my friends and they've been very nice and very consistent. Please feel free to comment and ask for what you would like to read about (within the realm of decency - my mom reads this).
Blogs get tougher to write as you go on.
Love always,
dB.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Weird Kid
I was a weird kid. I was pretty skinny. I stopped enjoying tackle football at about 5th grade 'cause it hurt. I never slept that well due to physical pain.
Around the mid-80's I got obsessed with style. I would nag my parents to buy me overpriced Polo shirts. My mom caved in and got me a couple. I wore polo shirts and knit ties and felt cool. I listened to Wham, PowerStation, Duran Duran and others. This was a very shallow time for everyone involved. I loved it.
Me and my best buddy started a brief synth-pop with his keyboard. Everyone had a keyboard back then. The band lasted 2 sessions. We'd record our songs and play them in reverse. Art spaces and basements would be probably eatin' that shit up.
We also almost blew up our house one late night while trying to cook. It was a gas stove and we were clueless.
A lot of us were altar boys. The priests were weird. They were supposed to be our role models. For a while they were. Then those scandals came out and some of them were spotted in the neighborhood gay bars. Looking back, that whole thing is pretty whacked out. But when you're a kid, and you're told this is what your supposed to do, sometimes you go along with it.
Speaking of gay bars, me and friends in grade school were quite intrigued by the local one called the "Tender Trap." One summer afternoon we went down to scope it out and saw a child leaving it. We asked him if it was the "Tender Trap." He said yes. We were freaked out.
I got thrown out of the gym (near the "Tender Trap") once during a girls basketball game, for raising too much hell. I turned the light off on the coach as he going in the bathroom to bust my friends. He grabbed me by the shirt and threw me out. I was a martyr that night for the kids.
The best times were playing wiffle ball, basketball or pick-up football. It was always better if a I fight ensued over a call. I was always the voice of reason in these matters and I was also the best quarterback, especially on the run. Ocasionally I could return a kickoff. I never had the speed but I had head fakes and juke moves to get me free in the open field. Years of neglect and and eventual serious leg break has tragically ended my career in parking lot football and basketball, I haven't given up on wiffle ball yet. I hope I've been back what these games have given to me.
Because of certain outside influences, I think I grew up quite sexist. Chauvinism seemed to come natural to me at quite an early age without giving it any thought. There's something kind of silly about it. Maybe it was me getting back at all the horrible business woman style shit that was going on then (white sneakers and shoulder pads, I just couldn't handle). Plus it was a good way to get under people's skin. I've always found amusement in shocking or upsetting people.
I convinced a friend I was gay over the phone (I'm a good actor).
I laughed at a girl for having a crush on me in grade school. Well, that is funny isn't it?
I also used to insist the WWF was real to all of my friends to fuck with them. It worked.
My dad said I was always selfish and never wanted to share. This is true too. My uncle bought me popcorn once on a trip downtown and I refused to share it with anyone. And I was proud that I didn't. I used to threaten to stay home on family trips if I didn't get my way.
(what an asshole!)
I'd like to think I've broadened my horizons since then.
Around the mid-80's I got obsessed with style. I would nag my parents to buy me overpriced Polo shirts. My mom caved in and got me a couple. I wore polo shirts and knit ties and felt cool. I listened to Wham, PowerStation, Duran Duran and others. This was a very shallow time for everyone involved. I loved it.
Me and my best buddy started a brief synth-pop with his keyboard. Everyone had a keyboard back then. The band lasted 2 sessions. We'd record our songs and play them in reverse. Art spaces and basements would be probably eatin' that shit up.
We also almost blew up our house one late night while trying to cook. It was a gas stove and we were clueless.
A lot of us were altar boys. The priests were weird. They were supposed to be our role models. For a while they were. Then those scandals came out and some of them were spotted in the neighborhood gay bars. Looking back, that whole thing is pretty whacked out. But when you're a kid, and you're told this is what your supposed to do, sometimes you go along with it.
Speaking of gay bars, me and friends in grade school were quite intrigued by the local one called the "Tender Trap." One summer afternoon we went down to scope it out and saw a child leaving it. We asked him if it was the "Tender Trap." He said yes. We were freaked out.
I got thrown out of the gym (near the "Tender Trap") once during a girls basketball game, for raising too much hell. I turned the light off on the coach as he going in the bathroom to bust my friends. He grabbed me by the shirt and threw me out. I was a martyr that night for the kids.
The best times were playing wiffle ball, basketball or pick-up football. It was always better if a I fight ensued over a call. I was always the voice of reason in these matters and I was also the best quarterback, especially on the run. Ocasionally I could return a kickoff. I never had the speed but I had head fakes and juke moves to get me free in the open field. Years of neglect and and eventual serious leg break has tragically ended my career in parking lot football and basketball, I haven't given up on wiffle ball yet. I hope I've been back what these games have given to me.
Because of certain outside influences, I think I grew up quite sexist. Chauvinism seemed to come natural to me at quite an early age without giving it any thought. There's something kind of silly about it. Maybe it was me getting back at all the horrible business woman style shit that was going on then (white sneakers and shoulder pads, I just couldn't handle). Plus it was a good way to get under people's skin. I've always found amusement in shocking or upsetting people.
I convinced a friend I was gay over the phone (I'm a good actor).
I laughed at a girl for having a crush on me in grade school. Well, that is funny isn't it?
I also used to insist the WWF was real to all of my friends to fuck with them. It worked.
My dad said I was always selfish and never wanted to share. This is true too. My uncle bought me popcorn once on a trip downtown and I refused to share it with anyone. And I was proud that I didn't. I used to threaten to stay home on family trips if I didn't get my way.
(what an asshole!)
I'd like to think I've broadened my horizons since then.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Let's hear it for drama.
I decided I like drama. If people meant what they said and were direct life would be painful. Drama opens things up a bit.
It's a pleasant feeling to try to second guess what someone actually means. Headgames exercise part of the brains that don't get great activity.
Histrionics is always a spectacle. I like never knowing what's coming next. Scenes are great. It's even better when the cops are involved. This is what makes me tick. (I've never had a scene with the cops).
It's neat to say things with no care behind them. Generate reactions. Draw people in. Turn people away.
I'm here for the moment.
It's a pleasant feeling to try to second guess what someone actually means. Headgames exercise part of the brains that don't get great activity.
Histrionics is always a spectacle. I like never knowing what's coming next. Scenes are great. It's even better when the cops are involved. This is what makes me tick. (I've never had a scene with the cops).
It's neat to say things with no care behind them. Generate reactions. Draw people in. Turn people away.
I'm here for the moment.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Money/Markets/Nature/Alcohol.
Money is a service. Money is based on what people value and exchange. Right? When money ceases to be backed by anything and can be created by thin air things get distorted and manipulated. Manipulated by those who have agendas.
Markets are also based on the wants and needs of people. When markets are manipulated by outside forces things get distorted.
What gets lost in all of this is what people value. Money and markets are quite natural. There is nothing immoral or obscene about what I've stated. Violence and coercion have been a driving force in whats been going on for sometime now. Friends, this is how faux bubbles are created. Speaking about this doesn't mean I have the morality of coyote. It means that I'm honest.
We may decide to put various things/approaches over our most delicate eyes but what we are witnessing are the failed attempts of those in power to try to fix things and dare I say stimulate things in a magic/mythical sort of way.
Dear friends/brothers/disciples realize that this is pure mythology......things can never be manipulated in a magical way by those who claim to know better than us on our economy. It's bigger than the ivory tower (a protected haven for those who don't do anything)...and we now see that QE1, QE2, and QE3 are failed attempts....may we work towards non violence, a FREE market, and voluntaryism....this isn't cold....this is nature....this is peace, this is love.
be well, and sleep well...i'm very tanked. but very vindicated. Rise above dear friends. We haven't seen the worst yet.
Markets are also based on the wants and needs of people. When markets are manipulated by outside forces things get distorted.
What gets lost in all of this is what people value. Money and markets are quite natural. There is nothing immoral or obscene about what I've stated. Violence and coercion have been a driving force in whats been going on for sometime now. Friends, this is how faux bubbles are created. Speaking about this doesn't mean I have the morality of coyote. It means that I'm honest.
We may decide to put various things/approaches over our most delicate eyes but what we are witnessing are the failed attempts of those in power to try to fix things and dare I say stimulate things in a magic/mythical sort of way.
Dear friends/brothers/disciples realize that this is pure mythology......things can never be manipulated in a magical way by those who claim to know better than us on our economy. It's bigger than the ivory tower (a protected haven for those who don't do anything)...and we now see that QE1, QE2, and QE3 are failed attempts....may we work towards non violence, a FREE market, and voluntaryism....this isn't cold....this is nature....this is peace, this is love.
be well, and sleep well...i'm very tanked. but very vindicated. Rise above dear friends. We haven't seen the worst yet.
Dust in the Wind / Day of Recollection
Dust in the Wind came on in the car today after my two slices of sicilian pizza for lunch. I hate that song but it brought up memories of our high school recollection day.
One day out of the school year we would partake in what they called "Recollection Day." This was an all guys catholic school and this was a day to reflect, individually and as a group, on who we were becoming as men, spiritually and academically. Usually the priest was involved along with two upper classmen who supposedly had their shit together by getting good grades and being well kempt and polite to everyone during school hours.
One year we had it at my old grade school, which was also catholic and run by the nuns. Looking back, I'm not sure anyone took these things seriously. I was polite and quiet, but painfully annoyed at what was to happen during this six hours of mental regrouping. Aside from the silliness of the incense prayers (I sat quietly), the singing, and prayer service, what really got me was that these upper class men were there to tell us about life's changes and be our pseudo gurus for the day leading unfruitful group activities. It was made up of stupid questions and ice-breakers, goal setting and everything hinged on being a good catholic citizen. The fact that is was being lead by spoiled rich kids made it all the more laughable.
So why did "Dust in the Wind" remind me of this?
The two guys (upper class men - they liked ranks and hierarchy there) running the event thought that the song, Dust in the Wind (a reminder of our mortality), and Styx's You're Fooling Yourself [(I think that's the name) an upbeat song to be sung to an angry young man to get it together], were both relevant to that day's event.
((God help me if I'm ever moved by anything Styx or Kansas has ever done and shame on them for choosing those tunes.))
During the lunch break, the kids played basketball in the old gym, I sat next to the priest and watched the kids play basketball and hated life for the next three hours, and the remainder of high school. The priest thought I was a weirdo and one of the guidance counselors thought I needed counseling. I thought the guidance counselor needed counseling.
These events are designed to build men with superb character who will be successful and make families (or more Catholic supporters). Deep inside my soul I may have understood it and maybe this was why I was so opposed to it.
((The word family nauseates as it implies commitment))
As weird as that priest was, he probably spotted that in me as I chose to drop out of the basketball game.
(can somebody write a better conclusion to this blog?)
One day out of the school year we would partake in what they called "Recollection Day." This was an all guys catholic school and this was a day to reflect, individually and as a group, on who we were becoming as men, spiritually and academically. Usually the priest was involved along with two upper classmen who supposedly had their shit together by getting good grades and being well kempt and polite to everyone during school hours.
One year we had it at my old grade school, which was also catholic and run by the nuns. Looking back, I'm not sure anyone took these things seriously. I was polite and quiet, but painfully annoyed at what was to happen during this six hours of mental regrouping. Aside from the silliness of the incense prayers (I sat quietly), the singing, and prayer service, what really got me was that these upper class men were there to tell us about life's changes and be our pseudo gurus for the day leading unfruitful group activities. It was made up of stupid questions and ice-breakers, goal setting and everything hinged on being a good catholic citizen. The fact that is was being lead by spoiled rich kids made it all the more laughable.
So why did "Dust in the Wind" remind me of this?
The two guys (upper class men - they liked ranks and hierarchy there) running the event thought that the song, Dust in the Wind (a reminder of our mortality), and Styx's You're Fooling Yourself [(I think that's the name) an upbeat song to be sung to an angry young man to get it together], were both relevant to that day's event.
((God help me if I'm ever moved by anything Styx or Kansas has ever done and shame on them for choosing those tunes.))
During the lunch break, the kids played basketball in the old gym, I sat next to the priest and watched the kids play basketball and hated life for the next three hours, and the remainder of high school. The priest thought I was a weirdo and one of the guidance counselors thought I needed counseling. I thought the guidance counselor needed counseling.
These events are designed to build men with superb character who will be successful and make families (or more Catholic supporters). Deep inside my soul I may have understood it and maybe this was why I was so opposed to it.
((The word family nauseates as it implies commitment))
As weird as that priest was, he probably spotted that in me as I chose to drop out of the basketball game.
(can somebody write a better conclusion to this blog?)
Friday, July 22, 2011
Reading vs. Allentown
I live right between these two Pennsylvania towns. I enter greater Reading every day during the week for work and I almost always hit Allentown on the weekend (at least for Wegman's). Maybe it would be nice to compare the two.
First, these towns have a lot of similarities. As far as size goes, Allentown wins out, they are third in PA, while Reading is 5th (behind Erie). Erie is a horrible place. Both have minor league baseball teams. Reading has a hockey team as well (points to Reading). Both have lots of crime too. Generally I feel safer in Allentown than I do Reading. Reading has the Schuylkill River while Allentown has the Lehigh. Both flow into the Delaware.
Both offer great places to eat. Hong Thanh(Nam) and Aashiyana(Indian) are probably the two best places to eat. In Allentown they have Asia(Asian) and Lui's(Asian). Have you figured out I like Asian food. Allentown has a Wegman's, Reading does not. Allentown seems to have better middle-eastern/Mediterranean cuisine. Allentown has a better farmer's market.
I don't spend much time in Reading to socialize so my opinion on this, like other things, might be a little uninformed. I'm certain there are cool bars there, I just haven't found one. We've played music at the Brass Lantern and that's just okay. It's sort of near Albright College. West Reading is just alright, if that qualifies as Reading.
I like the Allentown Brew Works a whole lot and I've been finding myself there a lot of Fridays. They usually have great bands (ours included) or cool dance parties, not mention a great selection of beer and chicks. Maybe Allentown is coming back (but I think they say that about all down and out socialized American towns). If they (all city governments) stopped trying to plan everything and let market forces do their thing, we'd be in better shape.
Both towns have really bad AM stations with morning shows and I'm guilty of listening to both of these, sometimes in the morning drive (I go thru streaks). 790 WFMZ-AM has Bobby Gunther Walsh who is extremely annoying (boderline whiney) with his authoritarian neo-con viewpoints interspersed between horrible jokes and unfunny radio bits. 830 AM, WEEU who has the Reading celebrity Charlie Adams (he also writes local ghost stories and gives talks) who actually plays some pretty interesting and rare old music (on occasion) between traffic reports, news and sports. The advantage here goes to Reading.
Right now, overall, my biases favor Allentown. I've worked in or near Reading since 2003 and maybe I just don't like it cause I associate it with having to go to a job. Even though I'm okay with my job. I associate Allentown/Lehigh Valley with good times and socializing, if not running game, if you will. To be honest, neither town has much to it. Like most things, it has to do with the people and happenings within it. So, at this point I feel more comfortable with Allentown.
Your Feedback would be appreciated.
dB
Related sources of info:
http://www.allentownpa.gov/Visitors/History/tabid/71/Default.aspx
http://www.readingpa.gov/history.asp
http://www.thebrewworks.com/allentown-brewworks/
http://www.thebrasslanternlive.com/calendar.html
First, these towns have a lot of similarities. As far as size goes, Allentown wins out, they are third in PA, while Reading is 5th (behind Erie). Erie is a horrible place. Both have minor league baseball teams. Reading has a hockey team as well (points to Reading). Both have lots of crime too. Generally I feel safer in Allentown than I do Reading. Reading has the Schuylkill River while Allentown has the Lehigh. Both flow into the Delaware.
Both offer great places to eat. Hong Thanh(Nam) and Aashiyana(Indian) are probably the two best places to eat. In Allentown they have Asia(Asian) and Lui's(Asian). Have you figured out I like Asian food. Allentown has a Wegman's, Reading does not. Allentown seems to have better middle-eastern/Mediterranean cuisine. Allentown has a better farmer's market.
I don't spend much time in Reading to socialize so my opinion on this, like other things, might be a little uninformed. I'm certain there are cool bars there, I just haven't found one. We've played music at the Brass Lantern and that's just okay. It's sort of near Albright College. West Reading is just alright, if that qualifies as Reading.
I like the Allentown Brew Works a whole lot and I've been finding myself there a lot of Fridays. They usually have great bands (ours included) or cool dance parties, not mention a great selection of beer and chicks. Maybe Allentown is coming back (but I think they say that about all down and out socialized American towns). If they (all city governments) stopped trying to plan everything and let market forces do their thing, we'd be in better shape.
Both towns have really bad AM stations with morning shows and I'm guilty of listening to both of these, sometimes in the morning drive (I go thru streaks). 790 WFMZ-AM has Bobby Gunther Walsh who is extremely annoying (boderline whiney) with his authoritarian neo-con viewpoints interspersed between horrible jokes and unfunny radio bits. 830 AM, WEEU who has the Reading celebrity Charlie Adams (he also writes local ghost stories and gives talks) who actually plays some pretty interesting and rare old music (on occasion) between traffic reports, news and sports. The advantage here goes to Reading.
Right now, overall, my biases favor Allentown. I've worked in or near Reading since 2003 and maybe I just don't like it cause I associate it with having to go to a job. Even though I'm okay with my job. I associate Allentown/Lehigh Valley with good times and socializing, if not running game, if you will. To be honest, neither town has much to it. Like most things, it has to do with the people and happenings within it. So, at this point I feel more comfortable with Allentown.
Your Feedback would be appreciated.
dB
Related sources of info:
http://www.allentownpa.gov/Visitors/History/tabid/71/Default.aspx
http://www.readingpa.gov/history.asp
http://www.thebrewworks.com/allentown-brewworks/
http://www.thebrasslanternlive.com/calendar.html
Thursday, July 14, 2011
The Permanant: A guys perspective.
I grew up watching the Brady Bunch and listening to Wham (Make it Big). Early on, my sister would dress me up as a little woman. My sister was quite surprised I pulled it off so well at five. I connected with the Brady Bunch, and I wanted my dad to get a perm like Mr. Brady. I also thought George Michael's hair on the Wham! Make it Big cassette was really nice (this was 2nd grade). I told my mom I wanted hair like that. She laughed and suggested I get a perm. I was curious.
Then twenty to twenty-five years later the ironic mustache came into play. I decided I'd grow one as a joke but soon stumbled on the truth that I actually looked pretty damn good, almost like a young Lech Walesa (look em up if you're ignorant). It was no longer a joke. And, I still will bring it back when the weather cools and I want to switch the vibe.
But, even after a few times around with the mustache, that approach seemed to get old. I needed to push the limits of my own personal image. Something new had to be done. Something outrageous, somewhat effeminate, and a little flamboyant. It took me a while to make a decision, but I finally did. With the help and support of great friends, whose laughter inspired me, I decided on a Permanent (or perm). My hair was long, and, instead of getting a badly needed hair cut, I waited it out till my vacation to have this process done. The plan was to get it done and cut it right before I'd go back to work.
I went to a local salon. They washed and proceeded to put curlers in my hair. There were moments when I had trouble keeping a straight face at the absurdity of all of this. What if my dad saw me (would this make 'em proud?). The process took about two hours and may have been the best two hours I'd ever spend on a style change. The results were seen immediately. This asinine concept of perming my hair turned into a blessing beyond belief. When I left I told the stylist that this idea started out as sort of a joke but that I was quite happy with the results. We shook hands. I think he was happy with his work. They call that a win-win situation (if you will).
I've received maybe one smirk from the girl that works at the health food store but pretty much everyone else has had nothing but great things to say about it. I think some women are especially jealous. I think the beauty of my perm is that it comes across as quite natural. This experience has made me feel more sexy and confident. I recommend this to any guy who is one the fence (about a perm).
Then twenty to twenty-five years later the ironic mustache came into play. I decided I'd grow one as a joke but soon stumbled on the truth that I actually looked pretty damn good, almost like a young Lech Walesa (look em up if you're ignorant). It was no longer a joke. And, I still will bring it back when the weather cools and I want to switch the vibe.
But, even after a few times around with the mustache, that approach seemed to get old. I needed to push the limits of my own personal image. Something new had to be done. Something outrageous, somewhat effeminate, and a little flamboyant. It took me a while to make a decision, but I finally did. With the help and support of great friends, whose laughter inspired me, I decided on a Permanent (or perm). My hair was long, and, instead of getting a badly needed hair cut, I waited it out till my vacation to have this process done. The plan was to get it done and cut it right before I'd go back to work.
I went to a local salon. They washed and proceeded to put curlers in my hair. There were moments when I had trouble keeping a straight face at the absurdity of all of this. What if my dad saw me (would this make 'em proud?). The process took about two hours and may have been the best two hours I'd ever spend on a style change. The results were seen immediately. This asinine concept of perming my hair turned into a blessing beyond belief. When I left I told the stylist that this idea started out as sort of a joke but that I was quite happy with the results. We shook hands. I think he was happy with his work. They call that a win-win situation (if you will).
I've received maybe one smirk from the girl that works at the health food store but pretty much everyone else has had nothing but great things to say about it. I think some women are especially jealous. I think the beauty of my perm is that it comes across as quite natural. This experience has made me feel more sexy and confident. I recommend this to any guy who is one the fence (about a perm).
I bought an HDTV
Almost 10 years ago exactly, I bought a little 13 inch television set at Walmart after I had graduated from Kutztown University. I watched it up until about 2005.
Well I plugged that old box in, after a good friend almost electrocuted himself drilling a hole through my closet. 233 hasn't burnt down yet.
While watching this old TV set I got the motivation to look for HDTV. My close friend got one a few years ago and I enjoyed giving her a tough time about it. Now I'm getting one. This happens a lot in the life of DaintyBones.
Anyway, here are my brief thoughts on television:
Television was probably always stupid but it took me quite a while to realize that. I hear people discussing current television programs and I'm completely clueless. Occasionally at a bar, they'll show American Idol and/or other lame competition shows and it boggles my mind how people can be so captivated by it. My mother will sometimes bring those shows during a telephone chat and I have a tough giving feedback to something I'm not into.
TV news is stupid. I'm not going into anymore on that.
I will watch a little sports every now and then especially during football and hockey season. Forgive me if that's nawt cool.
The things I will watch are the Food Network, random classic movies, and anything with Alan Alda, AWA Wrestling, Palladia (sometimes), and travel shows. I've found that I only watch TV right before bed, preferably when I'm relaxed. I'm happy my first impulse is no longer to put it on.
Watching TV has cut into my radio listening though. I haven't listened to as much Alex Jones or Coast to Coast. Listening to AJ often brings me down. Though I believe most of what he rambles about is accurate.
So now I've been debating on getting a MacTV thingy to hookup to my TV. It seems like I'd have Youtube with that thing. I don't own NetFlix (again, forgive me if that's nawt cool).
I'm not sure what the point of this blog was (I started this thing a few days ago and forgot to finish it). I guess I'm just documenting my switch, however small it is, back to television. I'm hoping it stays small. I have no doubt it will.
Have a good July,
Yours truly,
dB.
Well I plugged that old box in, after a good friend almost electrocuted himself drilling a hole through my closet. 233 hasn't burnt down yet.
While watching this old TV set I got the motivation to look for HDTV. My close friend got one a few years ago and I enjoyed giving her a tough time about it. Now I'm getting one. This happens a lot in the life of DaintyBones.
Anyway, here are my brief thoughts on television:
Television was probably always stupid but it took me quite a while to realize that. I hear people discussing current television programs and I'm completely clueless. Occasionally at a bar, they'll show American Idol and/or other lame competition shows and it boggles my mind how people can be so captivated by it. My mother will sometimes bring those shows during a telephone chat and I have a tough giving feedback to something I'm not into.
TV news is stupid. I'm not going into anymore on that.
I will watch a little sports every now and then especially during football and hockey season. Forgive me if that's nawt cool.
The things I will watch are the Food Network, random classic movies, and anything with Alan Alda, AWA Wrestling, Palladia (sometimes), and travel shows. I've found that I only watch TV right before bed, preferably when I'm relaxed. I'm happy my first impulse is no longer to put it on.
Watching TV has cut into my radio listening though. I haven't listened to as much Alex Jones or Coast to Coast. Listening to AJ often brings me down. Though I believe most of what he rambles about is accurate.
So now I've been debating on getting a MacTV thingy to hookup to my TV. It seems like I'd have Youtube with that thing. I don't own NetFlix (again, forgive me if that's nawt cool).
I'm not sure what the point of this blog was (I started this thing a few days ago and forgot to finish it). I guess I'm just documenting my switch, however small it is, back to television. I'm hoping it stays small. I have no doubt it will.
Have a good July,
Yours truly,
dB.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
My home vacation
It's 6am and I haven't slept. Before your mind wanders I only had 2 drinks tonight and didn't go out all too late. I was in my room by 2am.
During this time I was supposed to be in New England. I changed my mind. I'm staying in this area.
One of the charms of vacationing are comfortable hotel rooms. I already have an awesome bed and just decided I'd clean my room and bathroom. So, now there is floorspace, I have a new (used) HDTV and I can pretend I'm in a Connecticut Econo Lodge.
The Fire company is just a minute walk (or hobble) from my house and they serve a solid fish 'n' chips to really complete the vibe.
I won't have to worry about paying for gas (yeah, I know it's coming down, but it's still expensive) and I won't have to deal with I-95. This means less wear and tear on my car which runs fine but could soon have issues being over 110, 000 miles. With the money I save maybe I'll take preventative steps for the Mazda3 and catch up on bills.
There are other side projects I have going on and coming up so I also vow to make serious dents into those. I will miss the New England scenery and attitude but it's just kind of nice bumming around the home town without a care in the world.
Oh yeah, and I got a perm.
During this time I was supposed to be in New England. I changed my mind. I'm staying in this area.
One of the charms of vacationing are comfortable hotel rooms. I already have an awesome bed and just decided I'd clean my room and bathroom. So, now there is floorspace, I have a new (used) HDTV and I can pretend I'm in a Connecticut Econo Lodge.
The Fire company is just a minute walk (or hobble) from my house and they serve a solid fish 'n' chips to really complete the vibe.
I won't have to worry about paying for gas (yeah, I know it's coming down, but it's still expensive) and I won't have to deal with I-95. This means less wear and tear on my car which runs fine but could soon have issues being over 110, 000 miles. With the money I save maybe I'll take preventative steps for the Mazda3 and catch up on bills.
There are other side projects I have going on and coming up so I also vow to make serious dents into those. I will miss the New England scenery and attitude but it's just kind of nice bumming around the home town without a care in the world.
Oh yeah, and I got a perm.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
"One day at a time."
I use this expression "one day at a time," when people ask me how I'm doing. I'm not a 12 stepper though I have great respect for that class of peoples. (I like when people say they "respect" things, there's something silly about that)
I think it started in my working professional life. Generally people ask you how you're doing with little regard for the answer. They don't want to hear that you're insecure, depressed and constantly in physical and/or emotional pain. That would be a more honest answer/approach.
I think half the people that ask that don't even listen to the answer. Those kind of people bug me and I've always avoided them. These aren't the people I associate with on the job. On the other hand (boom boom), they probably see people like me as inappropriate for sharing such honest feelings in corporate environs. They would most likely suggest I get a counselor or a girlfriend. Both seem unattainable at this point, or at least unwanted.
I've been truthful when confronted with this question only to get weird vibes back from the questioner. It's as if I've burdened them. Truthfully, I guess I've felt burdened too when people unwind about their shit to me, or I feel like I've opened a can of worms. But, even though I'm honest I still try to keep it somewhat brief and to the point, not drawn out. Please don't assume I've given them my life story when they ask me. I don't do that and I'm too self-aware to do that.
So, to make matters simple for all parties involved, when I'm walking down the hall of the Institute, I'll generally just respond to "how are you doing" by saying "one day at a time." This really takes the pressure off. If someone is clever or cares they might give a follow-up question or call me on it. This is one way I determine if someone is really listening or thinking about what I said. A little test of mine, if you will.
Please feel free to try this at your workplace and play around with various inflections and moods when you utter the response, "one day at a time."
(I'll explain "God bless" in my next blog)
Monday, June 27, 2011
That weird feeling when hate turns to sympathy.
Do you remember that kid you didn't like in school? He/she lived for putting you down in front of your friends and classmates.
You had solid grounds to hate this person. The person f###ed with you, laughed at you, and tried to fight you on a few occasions just for being you. The anger inside you built up till you no longer saw this person as a human being.
Eventually something happened. There was a big showdown, or a some sport you beat him (or her) at. Maybe everyone was watching and you came through. Maybe it was just a clever insult. Maybe you just pushed the right (or wrong) button.
Whatever happened, the tide instantly turned! Your enemy lost it and was reduced to a pathetic fool. It happened in the "Buddy Hinton/Baby Talk" episode of the Brady Bunch. Maybe your arch rival started to become incoherent or reduced to tears. You had now won the war. But the victory was NOT as grand as you thought.
Sadness now comes over you. You're now moved and touched and even sympathetic towards this asshole who made your life hell. You begin to realize this soul had a lot of serious issues and was using you or your friend to take it all out on. You now realize it's time to stop. You even feel bad for taking those natural steps of self defense (either physical defense or emotion/reputation defense). You killed the monster and you regret it.
That's a weird feeling (and I don't know I thought of it now). That's when I know it's time to stop. When we become adults, if we do, we can pick out who needs their payback and who should be left alone. Self-Control is key. Have mercy on me and all of us.
You had solid grounds to hate this person. The person f###ed with you, laughed at you, and tried to fight you on a few occasions just for being you. The anger inside you built up till you no longer saw this person as a human being.
Eventually something happened. There was a big showdown, or a some sport you beat him (or her) at. Maybe everyone was watching and you came through. Maybe it was just a clever insult. Maybe you just pushed the right (or wrong) button.
Whatever happened, the tide instantly turned! Your enemy lost it and was reduced to a pathetic fool. It happened in the "Buddy Hinton/Baby Talk" episode of the Brady Bunch. Maybe your arch rival started to become incoherent or reduced to tears. You had now won the war. But the victory was NOT as grand as you thought.
Sadness now comes over you. You're now moved and touched and even sympathetic towards this asshole who made your life hell. You begin to realize this soul had a lot of serious issues and was using you or your friend to take it all out on. You now realize it's time to stop. You even feel bad for taking those natural steps of self defense (either physical defense or emotion/reputation defense). You killed the monster and you regret it.
That's a weird feeling (and I don't know I thought of it now). That's when I know it's time to stop. When we become adults, if we do, we can pick out who needs their payback and who should be left alone. Self-Control is key. Have mercy on me and all of us.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
I Have 15 new Hotties in the Kutztown area that are Anxious to Meet Me on AdultFriendFinder.
Today was such a great day! While checking my email, some place called Adult Friend Finder, they don't even know me, said that there are 15 hotties in my small town that are really interested in meeting me. I guess you can't blame them, not sure if it was the nasally voice or limp that hooked them in, maybe the hair.
So of course I joined up for about 20$/month and immediately hit the drug store (profos), and the hardware store. I'm going to build a trapeze.
This is the life we've all dreamed of, right? Bringing loose women up to our sacred bedrooms with their smelly bodies, bad breath and infections while being drunk (I forgot sweat - see gang of four/damaged goods). I hope I don't get too sore. I hope I don't get sores. This could be a workout! Where's the closest Planned Parenthood?
(I'm hearing bongos and tribal shit)
or...
Maybe it could be even more special (dare I say spiritual - some like to go there as if they have a solid grasp of that unknown stuffs).
Maybe one of the fifteen is a soul mate. I mean someone I'd actually have to listen to and share my filthy bed with and make me turn off my late night (alternative media) radio programs that I so enjoy hearing. Somebody who won't allow me to stink. Somebody around to say irrational statements and get angry with me if I can't comprehend them. Someone who will limit my time with friends and get in the way of personal goals.
I mean, um, this is worth it cause it makes my body feel really nice for like two minutes (but not as good as hospital morphine in the veins) and I can share my unfulfilled dreams with someone who is as equally pathetic as me. Plus I can be fully dependent on just one person for my everything and be completely destroyed when she leaves. And she'll leave on a whim. They all just leave on a whim. (Don't try to rationalize, just eat a pill and relax-and goddamn the government for taking that right away from a dood!).
Then I'll turn into an angry disgruntled single guy who tells himself he's got it under control and writes nonsense blogs (only loving friends read) and pursues other forms of enjoyment.
Godbless.
dB.
So of course I joined up for about 20$/month and immediately hit the drug store (profos), and the hardware store. I'm going to build a trapeze.
This is the life we've all dreamed of, right? Bringing loose women up to our sacred bedrooms with their smelly bodies, bad breath and infections while being drunk (I forgot sweat - see gang of four/damaged goods). I hope I don't get too sore. I hope I don't get sores. This could be a workout! Where's the closest Planned Parenthood?
(I'm hearing bongos and tribal shit)
or...
Maybe it could be even more special (dare I say spiritual - some like to go there as if they have a solid grasp of that unknown stuffs).
Maybe one of the fifteen is a soul mate. I mean someone I'd actually have to listen to and share my filthy bed with and make me turn off my late night (alternative media) radio programs that I so enjoy hearing. Somebody who won't allow me to stink. Somebody around to say irrational statements and get angry with me if I can't comprehend them. Someone who will limit my time with friends and get in the way of personal goals.
I mean, um, this is worth it cause it makes my body feel really nice for like two minutes (but not as good as hospital morphine in the veins) and I can share my unfulfilled dreams with someone who is as equally pathetic as me. Plus I can be fully dependent on just one person for my everything and be completely destroyed when she leaves. And she'll leave on a whim. They all just leave on a whim. (Don't try to rationalize, just eat a pill and relax-and goddamn the government for taking that right away from a dood!).
Then I'll turn into an angry disgruntled single guy who tells himself he's got it under control and writes nonsense blogs (only loving friends read) and pursues other forms of enjoyment.
Godbless.
dB.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Book Review: The Revolution: Ron Paul
Back in spring 2008 I saw Paul speak at the University of Pittsburgh. I was in town, so I decided to go. My old man went too, but we left at different times and ended up standing apart from each other. The Primaries were about over and everything, unfortunately had been decided. Towards the end of the talk, RP mentioned he was writing a book that would be out. I was a little disappointed. I was hoping he'd run third party. Instead we got a book.
I finally got around to purchasing this book about three years later, The Revolution: A Manifesto. I picked it up a few weeks ago in a major book and found myself really liking the introduction and the manner in which it was written. Quite easy to read and understand, but also put out there in a way that seems genuine and authentic.
It's broken up into about eight sections and includes a lovely reading list mainly focused on economics. Some of the sections include, Foreign Policy, Civil Liberties, Economics and Money (of course).
I got what pretty much what I expected as far his positions on these things. There were some things though, that I was pleasantly surprised by. First, Paul gets labeled as being very theoretical and even cold during the debates but his writing style, to me, came across as warm friendly teacher, very clear in his explanations. I also enjoyed some of the subtle occasional sarcasm in it.
If you have any preconceived biases against the free-market as being cold-hearted this could be a good book to read. I was left thinking, especially during the section on money and inflation, that RP has more interest in the well being of the poor and middle than those who are on the end of the spectrum. He comes across condemning Wall St. (in light of the bailout) as being anti-free market, and makes a clear argument for the housing bubble being the result of government and FED tinkering.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone of any political persuasion. It's a quick read. Took me about four days and I'm a pretty slow reader. To those who are politically apathetic, this might also be recommended and to those who have an interest in economics or the FED.
I will now start on "End the FED," by Ron Paul.
I finally got around to purchasing this book about three years later, The Revolution: A Manifesto. I picked it up a few weeks ago in a major book and found myself really liking the introduction and the manner in which it was written. Quite easy to read and understand, but also put out there in a way that seems genuine and authentic.
It's broken up into about eight sections and includes a lovely reading list mainly focused on economics. Some of the sections include, Foreign Policy, Civil Liberties, Economics and Money (of course).
I got what pretty much what I expected as far his positions on these things. There were some things though, that I was pleasantly surprised by. First, Paul gets labeled as being very theoretical and even cold during the debates but his writing style, to me, came across as warm friendly teacher, very clear in his explanations. I also enjoyed some of the subtle occasional sarcasm in it.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone of any political persuasion. It's a quick read. Took me about four days and I'm a pretty slow reader. To those who are politically apathetic, this might also be recommended and to those who have an interest in economics or the FED.
I will now start on "End the FED," by Ron Paul.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Alcohol
I had serious allergies a few weeks so I had to temporarily quite my nightly routine of going to the fire company for a few beers. Instead I would go and drink water. And sometimes that cute little bartender would give me a dirty look as if I should have some booze or get the f### out. Let it be known I'm not and never have been a heavy drinker, I don't have it in me. I do have the ability though to make a habit of a few beers a night to unwind after work though.
I'm on about week three of no booze and I must say the difference is almost night and day. My approach is much more positive and I think I'm sleeping a little better. I have managed to keep my socializing up and I'm saving money too.
I've done this numerous times throughout my life, that is, quitting alcohol for a time period. Something eventually brings me back. For now I'm going to try to limit it strictly to pre-gig warm-ups.
I'm on about week three of no booze and I must say the difference is almost night and day. My approach is much more positive and I think I'm sleeping a little better. I have managed to keep my socializing up and I'm saving money too.
I've done this numerous times throughout my life, that is, quitting alcohol for a time period. Something eventually brings me back. For now I'm going to try to limit it strictly to pre-gig warm-ups.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
The Thespian Approach.
There's a group of people out there we refer to as thespians. I'm not talking about legitimate actors and actresses. It's a sort of subculture. These thespians appear in any race, color, creed, sexual orientation (or preference - if that's what you prefer). The unique thing that links them all together is they're love of needless drama and playing it up in the most peculiar yet harmless way.
I knew a kid in college, maybe two kids that were thespians. The one that comes to mind is a fellow that spoke very much Keanu Reeves and had this strong vibe. He was very guarded as most thespians are. You got the feeling that anything that came out of his mouth was boldly insincere and his sense of humor was generic and official, lacking any sort of cleverness - though it was packaged in a faux clever way. At the time I didn't pay much attention to this as I was just trying to get through my coursework. But looking back, he was quite a character.
It's important to remember that you will never truly know a thespian. You may share connecting points during a chat but that's about it. Don't try to understand him or her.
Another thespian me and a friend came across was a soundguy at a Philadelphia music venue. He was an older ratty looking dude (probably how I'll end up, if I make it), wearing all black sneakers, jeans and a T-shirt. We were discussing with him our equipment set-up and what we needed and he dramatically flailed his arms up, walked away, and mumbled something in his ratty voice. Me and my friend looked at each, knowing he was a thespian. The next minute the thespian was fine, hard at work setting sound up. But he needed to flail his arms. The inner thespian came out. He was now at peace. He expressed himself. Mini-Broadway if you will, at a run down bar on Girard Ave.
What You Need to Know About Thespians!
dB
I knew a kid in college, maybe two kids that were thespians. The one that comes to mind is a fellow that spoke very much Keanu Reeves and had this strong vibe. He was very guarded as most thespians are. You got the feeling that anything that came out of his mouth was boldly insincere and his sense of humor was generic and official, lacking any sort of cleverness - though it was packaged in a faux clever way. At the time I didn't pay much attention to this as I was just trying to get through my coursework. But looking back, he was quite a character.
It's important to remember that you will never truly know a thespian. You may share connecting points during a chat but that's about it. Don't try to understand him or her.
Another thespian me and a friend came across was a soundguy at a Philadelphia music venue. He was an older ratty looking dude (probably how I'll end up, if I make it), wearing all black sneakers, jeans and a T-shirt. We were discussing with him our equipment set-up and what we needed and he dramatically flailed his arms up, walked away, and mumbled something in his ratty voice. Me and my friend looked at each, knowing he was a thespian. The next minute the thespian was fine, hard at work setting sound up. But he needed to flail his arms. The inner thespian came out. He was now at peace. He expressed himself. Mini-Broadway if you will, at a run down bar on Girard Ave.
What You Need to Know About Thespians!
- They need attention.
- Some thrive at Rennasaince Fairs.
- They can be nostalgic to an unhealthy extent.
- They are harmless.
- You will never truly know a thesbian.
- They tend to be bad dressers.
- Some are into D&D, but not all D&D'ers are thespians (create a ven diagram if you're confused)
dB
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Summer Approaches
It's warming. Allergies are on the rise. Yes. It's true. Summer is coming on.
Usually when this happens I think back to last summer and what (or who) I did. I try to make plans to make the most of the season too. I'm a big boy now with a car and money and nothing can really stop me from doing what I want (aside from some silly government regulations). I think we take this for granted when we become adults, or we fail to realize that there really are no rules for anything.
My plans for an east coast road trip are shaping up and I found a good who will ride along. Looks like New England is the destination. There will be many points along the way. Possible points of interest will be northern New Jersey, New London, CT (my place of birth), Rhode Island, and other spots. Nothing has been nailed down. God willing, gas prices will at least stay the same, but who the hell knows. Don't get me started on the declining dollar. That's another blog.
Another thing summer brings out, at least in me, is a change, or an increased interest in cooking. Last summer it was mastering the atomic habanero burrito, now it's been on to tacos. Last night I made an outstanding green sauce with canned tomatillos (don't judge). The skirt steak turned out perfect. I stood around the kitchen listening to Abba and inhaling my own food like an animal. This is what I enjoy.
The one downer for summers is the immense heat and allergies. We have bad air here in Berks county, PA, and now it clearly affects me. I was not able to enjoy my June 2nd birthday as much cause I was sick. It's finally clearing up though, and a good friend is letting me borrow her AC for the summer so I should be fine, yet.
Our band continues to create some pretty amazing stuff, and this is most responsible for my happiness and well mental state. We look forward to nailing down new tunes, and getting into the studio to record other less new tunes. We're finally mixing our recorded stuff from 2008. Yes 2008. We're quite pleased and I like my vocals on this. Usually I'm not comfortable with my vocals. It'll be nice to finally get out there.
Aside from this, I'm trying to pick up new design projects on the side, and maybe do a little drawing and painting, and also trying to turn this blog into a book. A book with pretty designs and drawings but essentially about nothing.
May your summer be filled with projects, parties and hi-jinx, and run a little game on the side as the chicks are in heat this time o' year. Bless n keep.
Usually when this happens I think back to last summer and what (or who) I did. I try to make plans to make the most of the season too. I'm a big boy now with a car and money and nothing can really stop me from doing what I want (aside from some silly government regulations). I think we take this for granted when we become adults, or we fail to realize that there really are no rules for anything.
My plans for an east coast road trip are shaping up and I found a good who will ride along. Looks like New England is the destination. There will be many points along the way. Possible points of interest will be northern New Jersey, New London, CT (my place of birth), Rhode Island, and other spots. Nothing has been nailed down. God willing, gas prices will at least stay the same, but who the hell knows. Don't get me started on the declining dollar. That's another blog.
Another thing summer brings out, at least in me, is a change, or an increased interest in cooking. Last summer it was mastering the atomic habanero burrito, now it's been on to tacos. Last night I made an outstanding green sauce with canned tomatillos (don't judge). The skirt steak turned out perfect. I stood around the kitchen listening to Abba and inhaling my own food like an animal. This is what I enjoy.
The one downer for summers is the immense heat and allergies. We have bad air here in Berks county, PA, and now it clearly affects me. I was not able to enjoy my June 2nd birthday as much cause I was sick. It's finally clearing up though, and a good friend is letting me borrow her AC for the summer so I should be fine, yet.
Our band continues to create some pretty amazing stuff, and this is most responsible for my happiness and well mental state. We look forward to nailing down new tunes, and getting into the studio to record other less new tunes. We're finally mixing our recorded stuff from 2008. Yes 2008. We're quite pleased and I like my vocals on this. Usually I'm not comfortable with my vocals. It'll be nice to finally get out there.
Aside from this, I'm trying to pick up new design projects on the side, and maybe do a little drawing and painting, and also trying to turn this blog into a book. A book with pretty designs and drawings but essentially about nothing.
May your summer be filled with projects, parties and hi-jinx, and run a little game on the side as the chicks are in heat this time o' year. Bless n keep.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Where should I go?
I have time off coming up? 12 days. I'm working with a limited budget, but, as much as I love Kutztown, I need to get out for a week or so. Kutztown is on the east coast. Three hours or less from NYC, Philly, DC, and Balt'more.
I don't wanna go to the city.
It's also near the beach.
I don't want to go the beach.
NORTH/NORTHEAST
Last year at this time I did a quick jaunt to Quebec. Made it to Quebec City. That's 11 hours on the road. Gas prices what they are makes me not want to do that. Montreal and Quebec are always nice. Especially in July. Part of me still wants to do this. I ended up staying at a cool Inn on the St. Lawrence. I'm not sure how I found it. It was cheap. But kind of creepy.
Go to Quebec Tourisme if you want detailed info.
NORTH/NORTHWESTI have a friend in Rochester, New York. (which is northwest of Kutztown). Five or six years we made many trips to Niagara Falls, and also Toronto ("T dot"). Haven't been there in forever. Seems like yesterday.
Rochester is a sort of a depressed area. It's flat and sits on a polluted lake. Oddly enough, it has some really outstanding salmon fly fishing. Don't eat the fish.
I also have a friend in Seattle, but in light of nuclear situation in Japan, I don't want any increased exposure to radiation. Plus I hate flying, unless it's to Europe.
Seattle was a neat town. I liked that they had sushi everywhere. It has a weird Northwestern vibe. There are some nice statist National Parks, not to far away.
WESTPittsburgh is west. It's over a four hour drive. I will be heading there shortly after vacation. My mom's getting a knee replacement.
SOUTH
I'm not interested in going anywhere south. Sorry.
EAST
I was just in Jersey two weeks ago. I'm sure it's more packed now. New England could be an option. Roughly a four hour drive from here. Nice towns. Not sure if the maple syrup is ready yet. I don't eat crabs they're unclean.
These are the immediate options that came to mind as I just started to think about it. Please list suggestions if you have any. Please don't suggest I go to hell.
I don't wanna go to the city.
It's also near the beach.
I don't want to go the beach.
NORTH/NORTHEAST
Last year at this time I did a quick jaunt to Quebec. Made it to Quebec City. That's 11 hours on the road. Gas prices what they are makes me not want to do that. Montreal and Quebec are always nice. Especially in July. Part of me still wants to do this. I ended up staying at a cool Inn on the St. Lawrence. I'm not sure how I found it. It was cheap. But kind of creepy.
 |
| Quebec City |
Go to Quebec Tourisme if you want detailed info.
NORTH/NORTHWESTI have a friend in Rochester, New York. (which is northwest of Kutztown). Five or six years we made many trips to Niagara Falls, and also Toronto ("T dot"). Haven't been there in forever. Seems like yesterday.
Rochester is a sort of a depressed area. It's flat and sits on a polluted lake. Oddly enough, it has some really outstanding salmon fly fishing. Don't eat the fish.
 |
| Ro cha cha |
I also have a friend in Seattle, but in light of nuclear situation in Japan, I don't want any increased exposure to radiation. Plus I hate flying, unless it's to Europe.
Seattle was a neat town. I liked that they had sushi everywhere. It has a weird Northwestern vibe. There are some nice statist National Parks, not to far away.
 |
| Se attle |
WESTPittsburgh is west. It's over a four hour drive. I will be heading there shortly after vacation. My mom's getting a knee replacement.
 |
| Picksburgh |
SOUTH
I'm not interested in going anywhere south. Sorry.
EAST
I was just in Jersey two weeks ago. I'm sure it's more packed now. New England could be an option. Roughly a four hour drive from here. Nice towns. Not sure if the maple syrup is ready yet. I don't eat crabs they're unclean.
 |
| New England |
These are the immediate options that came to mind as I just started to think about it. Please list suggestions if you have any. Please don't suggest I go to hell.
Monday, June 6, 2011
18 Things about 35
Some things I've gathered about myself and the world upon turning 35. Some may feel the same or differently about many of these points, enjoy:
- What I want is most important
- Sex/Women/dating/are of little or no importance and tend to complicate things.
- I know more and I know what I don't know and I try to be honest about both
- My hair is my best feature.
- My songs are okay.
- I can be funny.
- I'm far more optimistic than I pretend (not to be).
- There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel good.
- The less to worry about the happier I am.
- You can use mental quirks to your advantage.
- Never play politics at work.
- Authoritarianism, Imperialism and centralization of powers is always unsustainable.
- I do have a code that I go by, but it has most to do with what makes me the most safe and comfortable.
- The best way to get rid of mental depression is taking on a project...creative or otherwise. keeping busy.
- Alcohol doesn't make me feel any better.
- I'm part of a really good neighborhood/community, and that contributes greatly to my mental well being and good vibes.
- I'm more confident.
- There is some greater force or power doing things behind the scenes. We may never know the motives of that thing/being/etc. It might be a bad idea to try to fight against it. I don't speak of flesh and blood.
Health Care
I had a discussion with an insurance guy a few weeks ago. Based on my age and health condition I'm pretty screwed. If I ever left my job, I found out the most economic thing I could do would be to start a business, hire an employee, and get a plan for the business. This doesn't leave me a lot of hope.
One might say "life's hard," and it is, but what are the other options, why are health care costs so high?
Others might throw their hopes and dreams on the state. History shows that only makes things more expensive and quality will decline (i,e public education).
I guess it would be an interesting study to find out how much things cost, materials and labour, etc. When I was in the hospital for a week, I had screws put in my hip (I believe a relatively simple surgery), some x-rays, some drugs, and some really bad food, it came to around 30K. The surgery took less than 2 hours. Are titanium screws really that expensive?
If there are any experts around here that read this, please add your knowledge. I'm trying to learn.
Related source:
http://www.cato.org/pubs/pas/pa650.pdf
One might say "life's hard," and it is, but what are the other options, why are health care costs so high?
Others might throw their hopes and dreams on the state. History shows that only makes things more expensive and quality will decline (i,e public education).
I guess it would be an interesting study to find out how much things cost, materials and labour, etc. When I was in the hospital for a week, I had screws put in my hip (I believe a relatively simple surgery), some x-rays, some drugs, and some really bad food, it came to around 30K. The surgery took less than 2 hours. Are titanium screws really that expensive?
If there are any experts around here that read this, please add your knowledge. I'm trying to learn.
Related source:
http://www.cato.org/pubs/pas/pa650.pdf
Friday, June 3, 2011
Kevorkian Dead
I remember this guy was stirring things up in late 80's or 90's with his suicide machine. I often wondered how that thing worked.
Back then I took an authoritarian approach to the issue. I was pleased he was locked up. I equated him with Satan. It wasn't hard cause he had a creepy vibe. I remember one of the arguments against him was the slippery slope approach. They said physician assisted suicide would lead to involuntary euthanasia. There were stories of that "scary" country, the Netherlands already doing that. I have yet to verify those stories. Here's a site that clears it up. I think.
As you grow older, and expose yourself to other concepts and philosophies, opinions change. If we really believe in the principle of self-ownership, than we shouldn't have a beef with the guy. I really struggle seeing anything controversial about this. As with many other issues, I have a tough time seeing how this affects others who strongly oppose it. As with many other issues, simply put, it comes down to others who use the violent arm of the state, who have absolutely no idea who you are and what you've been through, putting restrictions on a decision that has no impact on anyone else but yourself.
So, while I still think Kevorkian was a really creepy morbid dude and really wouldn't want him to set foot in my house. I don't think he or his philosophies/inventions should scare anyone. Please correct me, but I don't he went around selling death. But even if he did, it should be his right. His ideas never would've stopped anyone of us from living lives fully. Nothing stops us from us from convincing others that life is a beautiful positive thing. Let's do what we want to do, and let others do the same for themselves.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Themes/Terms I'm obsessed with.
I'm an obsessive person. I've spent my life obsessing over one thing to another. The life span of my obsessions varies from months to years. If you know me, you know I repeat terms and themes over and over again. This is how I know who my friends are. Those who have stuck around despite the redundancy. Here are some things that are kind of current, some are not. Keep in mind obsessing over something doesn't mean one is an expert. Obsessions can can constantly float around in my head resulting in mainly exciting the brain, but sadly sometimes little research or scholarship is put into it. Here goes, I'll try to group them appropriately:
- Voluntaryism - http://www.voluntaryist.com/
- Anarcho-capitalism - http://www.ozarkia.net/bill/anarchism/faq.html
- Austrian Economics - http://www.econlib.org/library/Enc/AustrianSchoolofEconomics.html
- Stephan Molyneux - http://www.freedomainradio.com/
- Ludwig von Mises - http://mises.org/
- Fiat Currency - http://dailyreckoning.com/fiat-currency/
- Fractional Reserve Banking - http://www.lewrockwell.com/rothbard/frb.html
- Military-industrial-complex - http://www.militaryindustrialcomplex.com/what-is-the-military-industrial-complex.asp
- Fascism http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fascism
- Statism - http://aynrandlexicon.com/lexicon/statism.html
- Ron Paul - http://www.ronpaul.com/
- False Flag - http://www.wanttoknow.info/falseflag
- IMF - http://www.imf.org/external/country/index.htm
- Federal Reserve Board - http://www.bos.frb.org/about/pubs/begin.pdf
Sunday, May 29, 2011
My Day at the Beach.
This Sunday (sundee) of Memorial Day weekend I felt I needed to get out of town.
I woke up and needed some food. I went to Wegman's. While I was eating I was debating whether or not to go. Money was an issue, but I decided to go.
I made it up near Sandy Hook. Actually a little south from there. It was 8$. I'm not sure if that was a holiday rate. Water temperature was 55 degrees. There was a good crowd (unfortunately). Turned out to be a beautiful day. Good sun. I walked the shoreline ( I had my space) and got my feet wet. I put everything in perspective.
Then I headed home.
I took 202 to Route 12 (as memory serves). Twelve takes you to the Delaware river. (There were) nice little towns along the river where the rich people live. (There were) cute little bars and eateries too. Visually it looks very nice but I probably wouldn't want to live there. I have many ghosts along the Delaware. I have a good imagination. Eventually we (I) crossed over to PA and came up through Hellertown. This was completely unchartered territory for me, and a longer way to go.
I enjoy maps and different routes. I don't enjoy the gas prices.
I woke up and needed some food. I went to Wegman's. While I was eating I was debating whether or not to go. Money was an issue, but I decided to go.
I made it up near Sandy Hook. Actually a little south from there. It was 8$. I'm not sure if that was a holiday rate. Water temperature was 55 degrees. There was a good crowd (unfortunately). Turned out to be a beautiful day. Good sun. I walked the shoreline ( I had my space) and got my feet wet. I put everything in perspective.
Then I headed home.
I took 202 to Route 12 (as memory serves). Twelve takes you to the Delaware river. (There were) nice little towns along the river where the rich people live. (There were) cute little bars and eateries too. Visually it looks very nice but I probably wouldn't want to live there. I have many ghosts along the Delaware. I have a good imagination. Eventually we (I) crossed over to PA and came up through Hellertown. This was completely unchartered territory for me, and a longer way to go.
I enjoy maps and different routes. I don't enjoy the gas prices.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Should money be backed by something?
I always thought it should. I'm not an economist. A book I'm reading by William Still opposes this view. William is also critical of the Fed.
He points to a country in the English Channel called Guernsey. He says they don't back it with anything but just increase the money supply, in relation to the population. He says they're quite prosperous. He takes the position that gold and silver or any commodity could be manipulated and blames the Great Depression on the Fed contracting the money supply.
This is a compelling view, but I get kind of lost when he argues for the US government taking control of the banking. This is contrary to Austrian economics which stands for everything being privatized and having competing currencies. I think at this point in the game (in history) our congress can't really be trusted to take control of anything. This is, in principle, an authoritarian view of banking/money printing.
William Still points a few fallacies in Ron Paul's monatary position which is completely opposite of the view stated above. He says he's also invited Ron Paul for an interview/discussion and RP has not returned his calls. I would really like to see them two talk and hash the issue out. They do agree on one thing, that the Federal Reserve is an unconstitutional private bank with a monopoly. On William's website he does support Ron Paul.
I find both arguments fascinating and it's quite sad our corporate owned media doesn't have more coverage of this most vitale issue to the economy.
He points to a country in the English Channel called Guernsey. He says they don't back it with anything but just increase the money supply, in relation to the population. He says they're quite prosperous. He takes the position that gold and silver or any commodity could be manipulated and blames the Great Depression on the Fed contracting the money supply.
This is a compelling view, but I get kind of lost when he argues for the US government taking control of the banking. This is contrary to Austrian economics which stands for everything being privatized and having competing currencies. I think at this point in the game (in history) our congress can't really be trusted to take control of anything. This is, in principle, an authoritarian view of banking/money printing.
William Still points a few fallacies in Ron Paul's monatary position which is completely opposite of the view stated above. He says he's also invited Ron Paul for an interview/discussion and RP has not returned his calls. I would really like to see them two talk and hash the issue out. They do agree on one thing, that the Federal Reserve is an unconstitutional private bank with a monopoly. On William's website he does support Ron Paul.
I find both arguments fascinating and it's quite sad our corporate owned media doesn't have more coverage of this most vitale issue to the economy.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Why do i live in Kutztown?
I first set foot on Kutztown soil back in the spring of 1997. Me and my dad came out as I had to schedule classes. I chose the school cause it was affordable and it had the area of study that I wanted to pursue. I had no clue about this town other than it was a college town on the other side of the state.
I had a couple years in the dorms and those were swell times, even though it was a prison like setting. Eventually I moved out and on the opposite end of town, from the university. My first year off campus I almost went nuts. I was living by myself and shunned most inter-action. Occasionally friends would stop by as if they were visiting me the shut in. From then on, I've come to appreciate the value of human interaction and see it as a necessity for sanity.
My senior year I decided that I was going to go to bars on a regular basis, by myself. After a few weeks I became a regular, got comfortable and made friends. This was about 10 years ago exactly.
I think everything is quite relaxed and comfortable here. Yes, this is a small town, and rumors go around quite fast, but if you can get beyond that it's really a swell place. The Main Street has mostly functioning, if not thriving businesses, a few storefronts are empty. Walking the streets is always pleasant and safe and people here are generally kind, barring a few folks here and there. Though the borough is corrupt and that's on the record, I rarely feel bothered here (I did get a silly ticket a couple months ago however).
There's a bus station walking distance from my place that'll shoot you up to NYC in no time. I like that. There's a great flea market walking distance from my place that has lots of cool shit. I like that. There is a soothing stream that runs through town. I like that. Especially on a night walk with the Kutztown Kreepers.
It's a university town, and that makes the place a lot more interesting too.
I think in the event of an economic crash, this would be a great place to be because it's surrounded by many farms.
There are some things I don't like though.
-There seems to be a lack of music venues here. We do a big fire company gig two times a year, but thats not a regular place. I have seen some great shows at the Eckhaus. I hear the pub is doing music. Shorty's books shit cover bands to go with their shitty bar and everything else shitty in there. It's shit.
-There needs to be a GOOD chinese restaurant in town, and a GOOD sushi place in town, and an indian place would be nice.
-It goes against everything I stand for to have the borough run the electricity and cable. That should be privatized.
-And, I don't have children, but I hear the school board is kind of going downhill. (I'd home school anyway)
What's Best
What's best is that I live near so many peeps that are dear to me and that I'd feel comfortable going into their homes, uninvited, to just say hello, or get some meaningless dramatic thoughts off of my skinny hairy chest. The way things are set up these days and neighborhoods/developments what they are, this may be a rare thing. Fortunately I grew up with it, and I've managed to stay with it. This goes a long way when we speak of quality of living.
How is your hood?????
I had a couple years in the dorms and those were swell times, even though it was a prison like setting. Eventually I moved out and on the opposite end of town, from the university. My first year off campus I almost went nuts. I was living by myself and shunned most inter-action. Occasionally friends would stop by as if they were visiting me the shut in. From then on, I've come to appreciate the value of human interaction and see it as a necessity for sanity.
My senior year I decided that I was going to go to bars on a regular basis, by myself. After a few weeks I became a regular, got comfortable and made friends. This was about 10 years ago exactly.
I think everything is quite relaxed and comfortable here. Yes, this is a small town, and rumors go around quite fast, but if you can get beyond that it's really a swell place. The Main Street has mostly functioning, if not thriving businesses, a few storefronts are empty. Walking the streets is always pleasant and safe and people here are generally kind, barring a few folks here and there. Though the borough is corrupt and that's on the record, I rarely feel bothered here (I did get a silly ticket a couple months ago however).
There's a bus station walking distance from my place that'll shoot you up to NYC in no time. I like that. There's a great flea market walking distance from my place that has lots of cool shit. I like that. There is a soothing stream that runs through town. I like that. Especially on a night walk with the Kutztown Kreepers.
It's a university town, and that makes the place a lot more interesting too.
I think in the event of an economic crash, this would be a great place to be because it's surrounded by many farms.
There are some things I don't like though.
-There seems to be a lack of music venues here. We do a big fire company gig two times a year, but thats not a regular place. I have seen some great shows at the Eckhaus. I hear the pub is doing music. Shorty's books shit cover bands to go with their shitty bar and everything else shitty in there. It's shit.
-There needs to be a GOOD chinese restaurant in town, and a GOOD sushi place in town, and an indian place would be nice.
-It goes against everything I stand for to have the borough run the electricity and cable. That should be privatized.
-And, I don't have children, but I hear the school board is kind of going downhill. (I'd home school anyway)
What's Best
What's best is that I live near so many peeps that are dear to me and that I'd feel comfortable going into their homes, uninvited, to just say hello, or get some meaningless dramatic thoughts off of my skinny hairy chest. The way things are set up these days and neighborhoods/developments what they are, this may be a rare thing. Fortunately I grew up with it, and I've managed to stay with it. This goes a long way when we speak of quality of living.
How is your hood?????
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The Watchtower (Authoritarianism: church/state)
I did my eight to eleven shift today at work, met up with some friends at the local coffee establishment. Some local artist/prof was talking about herself, and she did it quite well at it. I stuck to my eggs on a bagel and waited for her to leave. Thoughts of the statist/academic mindset arose but I tried to block it out and remain positive. Another university member came in. They all seem to be happy in their world of non accountability, time off, and sabbaticals. It's a good life. I'm not anyone to judge (but I will), I've opted for the corporate approach which isn't that much morally superior to the statist (violent/gun to the head) way.
I'm (my income is) still connected to taxpayer money (to some extent) in the form of grants/student loans, but each term I am held accountable and evaluated. It seems like mostly every one's salary these days in the USA is connected to taxpayer funds. This is not a sustainable road to prosperity, as we're seeing the beginnings of the end of it.
I headed home, parked my silver hatchback, and crossed Noble Street to my home. As I was crossing another form of authoritarianism was approaching me in a suit and a friendly smile. I initially thought it was a politician or someone from the government. Turned out to be a Jehovah's Witness. A nice guy, but kind of fake. He was a salesman of sorts.
He had stopped by before and remembered my name and where I worked. The first time I answered the door I looked like a mess. Today, I looked tired warn out, but I was dressed better. He gave me some literature and went on his way.
I think most people I know, friends, etc. would have told him to get lost, but I remained polite and told him I needed a nap. I grew up in a religious household and dabbled in other sects for a while so I can sympathize with this guy and in a way and know where he's coming from. At least with this guy, as opposed to the state, the authoritarianism he is selling is completely voluntary.
After this interaction, I went upstairs, tried out this 8$ Casio keyboard I bought (IT WORKS!) then snoozed for a good three hours. It was much needed good rest. I'm ready to go!
I'm (my income is) still connected to taxpayer money (to some extent) in the form of grants/student loans, but each term I am held accountable and evaluated. It seems like mostly every one's salary these days in the USA is connected to taxpayer funds. This is not a sustainable road to prosperity, as we're seeing the beginnings of the end of it.
I headed home, parked my silver hatchback, and crossed Noble Street to my home. As I was crossing another form of authoritarianism was approaching me in a suit and a friendly smile. I initially thought it was a politician or someone from the government. Turned out to be a Jehovah's Witness. A nice guy, but kind of fake. He was a salesman of sorts.
He had stopped by before and remembered my name and where I worked. The first time I answered the door I looked like a mess. Today, I looked tired warn out, but I was dressed better. He gave me some literature and went on his way.
I think most people I know, friends, etc. would have told him to get lost, but I remained polite and told him I needed a nap. I grew up in a religious household and dabbled in other sects for a while so I can sympathize with this guy and in a way and know where he's coming from. At least with this guy, as opposed to the state, the authoritarianism he is selling is completely voluntary.
After this interaction, I went upstairs, tried out this 8$ Casio keyboard I bought (IT WORKS!) then snoozed for a good three hours. It was much needed good rest. I'm ready to go!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Feet are disgusting
Hugs are frivalous, you're being lied to, and yes, feet are disgusting.
Yesterday I had plans to get some gyros and the local record store, but both were closed. I settled on Goodwill and sushi. There's a good place near Wegman's called Lui's. Good sushi and prompt service. I was fortunate enough to be placed next an upper middle class family, most likely out for a mother's day lunch.
As I was looking down to grab my sushi I noticed the father was wearing sandals. This didn't seem to go well with my sushi and I inside I began to rant about my dislike of feet. I kept this all to my own brain, but for years I've hated the sight of feet.
They range is from ugly to disgusting. They were created, or evolved (if you will), to do a pretty serious job and practically speaking they do a swell job, but that doesn't mean I need to see them. What kind of arrogant soul feels the need to show their feet in public?
What's more annoying than seeing feet is seeing painted toenails. Who the heck goes to the trouble of such a frivolous act. Whoever has the time for that should volunteer somewhere. It doesn't even look appealing. No, I don't want to see feet on a woman, I'd prefer knee high dark socks. Forgive me if that's offensive, but, keep the feet covered.
(This being said, I have nice feet for hating feet. But, I have enough class to keep them covered.)
The truth is, feet are dirty. Fungi sometimes grows on them (not mine), but other people. I once knew a man who crashed at our house that long skinny toenails, like talons. We would call them talons and they would tap on the floor. We laughed about it but it was gross. The guy wreaked of pot and tiresome bleeding heart, yet establishment political views. Help us.
Moving back to the sushi restaurant, the dude in sandals began talking about his motorcycle and how he wanted to see the races somewhere in the poconos. His voice kind of made me want to stick a chopstick in his eye but who am I to judge about voices (or anything). I kept my thoughts to myself and remained calm, thinking about how I could turn this everyday situation into a horrible blog post.
I think I've succeeded.
Yesterday I had plans to get some gyros and the local record store, but both were closed. I settled on Goodwill and sushi. There's a good place near Wegman's called Lui's. Good sushi and prompt service. I was fortunate enough to be placed next an upper middle class family, most likely out for a mother's day lunch.
As I was looking down to grab my sushi I noticed the father was wearing sandals. This didn't seem to go well with my sushi and I inside I began to rant about my dislike of feet. I kept this all to my own brain, but for years I've hated the sight of feet.
They range is from ugly to disgusting. They were created, or evolved (if you will), to do a pretty serious job and practically speaking they do a swell job, but that doesn't mean I need to see them. What kind of arrogant soul feels the need to show their feet in public?
What's more annoying than seeing feet is seeing painted toenails. Who the heck goes to the trouble of such a frivolous act. Whoever has the time for that should volunteer somewhere. It doesn't even look appealing. No, I don't want to see feet on a woman, I'd prefer knee high dark socks. Forgive me if that's offensive, but, keep the feet covered.
(This being said, I have nice feet for hating feet. But, I have enough class to keep them covered.)
The truth is, feet are dirty. Fungi sometimes grows on them (not mine), but other people. I once knew a man who crashed at our house that long skinny toenails, like talons. We would call them talons and they would tap on the floor. We laughed about it but it was gross. The guy wreaked of pot and tiresome bleeding heart, yet establishment political views. Help us.
Moving back to the sushi restaurant, the dude in sandals began talking about his motorcycle and how he wanted to see the races somewhere in the poconos. His voice kind of made me want to stick a chopstick in his eye but who am I to judge about voices (or anything). I kept my thoughts to myself and remained calm, thinking about how I could turn this everyday situation into a horrible blog post.
I think I've succeeded.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Local Weekend/Greater Berks County
DaintyBones had a nice weekend to kick off the month of may.
Friday we went out to a secluded place on the river to see some friends band play. It was noise music, they had a looping pedal guitarist, drums and another guitarist. It was good. Music went on in the spacious shed with nice lighting to go along to the music. Futon mattresses were placed up front for people to relax on while the music played. I mooched a couple beers off of a friend.
As the music went on, we had a lovely fire going outside, as some folks gathered in the cozy house. It wasn't too crowded. It was all just very nice, relaxed and laid back. Another Danish band played but I was outside by the fire as they started. There was some nice weird sounds coming from the shed, and filling the wilderness and mountains.
Saturday I chose to do a cookout. I threw some meat on the grille, chopped and seasoned it, and we had tacos. I also threw some smoked beef sausage on the grille too. It turns out this was one of rare occasions that I made exactly the right amount of food for everyone. It was a casual gathering and preparation really wasn't that bad. Again, I mooched a couple beers. I went to bed while some friends were still there. The rest of them went to the Fire Company.
Sunday afternoon was the big block party. I got there early to sort of assist with set up as best I could given the fact that I can't carry too many heavy things and my knowledge of sound equipment is quite limited. It started out kind of stressful as what we were hearing from the University's Radio Shack speakers didn't sound to promising. Many of us had our doubts.
Our friend, guitarist and expert sound dude, Dave, seemed to have doubts, which made me a little uneasy, but somehow he magically pulled it all together. I went in the tavern to calm down and have a few drinks and came out to a good sounding PA system. This put me at ease.
The planning for the event didn't allow for time in between bands so everything was a little behind. We had to eliminate 2 of our songs but everything went okay. A few small mistakes on stage, but people generally stuck around and even danced. Below is a photo.
I ended my Sunday with a quick trip to Bethlehem to see a couple other bands. It was a busy weekend, I hope the rest of them are this busy as it begins to warm up around here.
Friday we went out to a secluded place on the river to see some friends band play. It was noise music, they had a looping pedal guitarist, drums and another guitarist. It was good. Music went on in the spacious shed with nice lighting to go along to the music. Futon mattresses were placed up front for people to relax on while the music played. I mooched a couple beers off of a friend.
As the music went on, we had a lovely fire going outside, as some folks gathered in the cozy house. It wasn't too crowded. It was all just very nice, relaxed and laid back. Another Danish band played but I was outside by the fire as they started. There was some nice weird sounds coming from the shed, and filling the wilderness and mountains.
Saturday I chose to do a cookout. I threw some meat on the grille, chopped and seasoned it, and we had tacos. I also threw some smoked beef sausage on the grille too. It turns out this was one of rare occasions that I made exactly the right amount of food for everyone. It was a casual gathering and preparation really wasn't that bad. Again, I mooched a couple beers. I went to bed while some friends were still there. The rest of them went to the Fire Company.
Sunday afternoon was the big block party. I got there early to sort of assist with set up as best I could given the fact that I can't carry too many heavy things and my knowledge of sound equipment is quite limited. It started out kind of stressful as what we were hearing from the University's Radio Shack speakers didn't sound to promising. Many of us had our doubts.
Our friend, guitarist and expert sound dude, Dave, seemed to have doubts, which made me a little uneasy, but somehow he magically pulled it all together. I went in the tavern to calm down and have a few drinks and came out to a good sounding PA system. This put me at ease.
The planning for the event didn't allow for time in between bands so everything was a little behind. We had to eliminate 2 of our songs but everything went okay. A few small mistakes on stage, but people generally stuck around and even danced. Below is a photo.
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| Photo by Eric De Jesus |
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
A clear head and efficient living comes from throwing away.
A clear head and efficient living comes from throwing away. My mom is a mini hoarder and passed a little of that on to me. Most of life, even now, I feel like every little thing has sentimental value and must be saved. I do this with tickets, weekend magazines, and with clothing especially.
I'm finding I save things I may wear once a year. The clothing thing has paid off numerous times. Often I've found things laying around my room that I pull out that just woos everyone (those suspenders with my khaki pants the girls drool over). Or, I find an old article of clothing will fit nicely with my new haircut or new piece of clothing I've found. It's also a curse though.
Much of the mess in my room goes back to clothing. I'd say about 77.2% of it to be exact. This has given me many ideas. I once thought of getting rid of everything except striped things (stripes are thining). Or, keeping only Dickies pants (since then, I've found Dickie's aren't as flattering for my God-given ass - though I'll still wear them).
Recently, I assume cause of warm weather and good Vitamin D I've been making slightly positive steps. Just yesterday I donated a bunch of stuff. I did that a few weeks ago too. These are tough decisions, but decisions that must be made! The overall result is a plus. A good clean spacious room uncluttered sends good vibes throughout the place and increases chances of nookie if I ever manipulate a young trollop back to the pad.
(I still have another bag to rid myself of)
I'm finding I save things I may wear once a year. The clothing thing has paid off numerous times. Often I've found things laying around my room that I pull out that just woos everyone (those suspenders with my khaki pants the girls drool over). Or, I find an old article of clothing will fit nicely with my new haircut or new piece of clothing I've found. It's also a curse though.
Much of the mess in my room goes back to clothing. I'd say about 77.2% of it to be exact. This has given me many ideas. I once thought of getting rid of everything except striped things (stripes are thining). Or, keeping only Dickies pants (since then, I've found Dickie's aren't as flattering for my God-given ass - though I'll still wear them).
Recently, I assume cause of warm weather and good Vitamin D I've been making slightly positive steps. Just yesterday I donated a bunch of stuff. I did that a few weeks ago too. These are tough decisions, but decisions that must be made! The overall result is a plus. A good clean spacious room uncluttered sends good vibes throughout the place and increases chances of nookie if I ever manipulate a young trollop back to the pad.
(I still have another bag to rid myself of)
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Dungeons and Dragons?
What's up with the D&D kids? A few come to the bar every now and again. It's something I can't put my finger on.
In gradeschool a D&D kid moved in next door. He had no friends. My parents felt compassion on him and encouraged me to play with him. Eventually I did.
One summer night he was swinging a wiffle bat as the sun was going down in the back alley. I saw the bat, wiffle ball always gets me going, so I went out and proceeded with some caution as I was kind of shy and about to meet a new kid.
I asked him, "what's going on?"
He replied, "..playin' fire fly baseball."
(How the fuck do you play firefly baseball????-I thought)
He handed me the bat and told me I had to swing at lighting bugs. There was no score keeping. WTF?
I killed about three of them, but felt like a complete ass doing so. This "sport" was fun to this child. I faked enthusiasm and tried to be supportive. I'm not sure if my older brother was in town then, but if he was I'm sure him and my dad had a good laugh together watching from the kitchen window.
I eventually said I had to go inside and got a bit angry at my parents for suggesting I play with such a weird kid.
Moving forward, if the kid survived high school and everything else, I'm sure he is probably putting together some awesome music.
Having said all this, there is weird similarity, I believe it's in the eyes, of those who partake in such role playing games. May Lord have mercy on those who judge and those who are judged. One love. Dainty bones.
In gradeschool a D&D kid moved in next door. He had no friends. My parents felt compassion on him and encouraged me to play with him. Eventually I did.
One summer night he was swinging a wiffle bat as the sun was going down in the back alley. I saw the bat, wiffle ball always gets me going, so I went out and proceeded with some caution as I was kind of shy and about to meet a new kid.
I asked him, "what's going on?"
He replied, "..playin' fire fly baseball."
(How the fuck do you play firefly baseball????-I thought)
He handed me the bat and told me I had to swing at lighting bugs. There was no score keeping. WTF?
I killed about three of them, but felt like a complete ass doing so. This "sport" was fun to this child. I faked enthusiasm and tried to be supportive. I'm not sure if my older brother was in town then, but if he was I'm sure him and my dad had a good laugh together watching from the kitchen window.
I eventually said I had to go inside and got a bit angry at my parents for suggesting I play with such a weird kid.
Moving forward, if the kid survived high school and everything else, I'm sure he is probably putting together some awesome music.
Having said all this, there is weird similarity, I believe it's in the eyes, of those who partake in such role playing games. May Lord have mercy on those who judge and those who are judged. One love. Dainty bones.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Down the Mon' in depressed Brownsville.
I remember as a kid heading south from Pittsburgh, when crossing the Mon' river, that a sense of darkness and depression would come over me. At one point this area was booming with industry, now there are only few mills working, if that. I often drive this way, if I'm coming from Pittsburgh, towards the eastern part of the state. And, every time I do, the same feelings cloud my mind.
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| Monongahela River, Brownsville, PA, much of the River looks and feels like this shot. |
Thoughts arise as I drive through these run down pathetic little towns of abandon buildings, shut down bars and rusted out infrastructure. Is the area cursed? How many numbers of immigrants died here while on the job being exploited? What kind of horrible unhealthy lives did these mill workers live? Maybe their spirits are still haunting the area giving it the "vibe" it has today. Whatever it is, I felt it early on and it's still with me. (forgive this last paragraph for being extremely cheesy/cliche....i sort of wanted to delete, but I'll leave it up so you all can shake your heads in disgust, if not anger at the utter sappiness of this)
Today I made the same trip and actually got out of my car to take a few photos.
I kept going south on the Mon' River. Passed some rusted bridges, housing projects, shady bars, and the amusement park, Kennywood. Cruising further down towards Dravosburg and some other factories, there was a skanky "woman" dressed in high heels hitchhiking. I drove by and was wondering if it was really a man in drag with a gun in his/her purse. It was tough to tell, I hope he/she got home to their destination safely. This was on Rt 837 if anyone reading is interested in trying to find her next week on that road to pick "it" up.
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| Something made in or around Brownsville, I assume. |
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| Museum, on the main drag of Brownsville. |
So, while walking the street, I noticed the town came up with a nifty idea about how to handle empty store fronts. They put some brown board on a lot these store windows and painted brightly colored silhouttes of different types of people. Maybe this is done in other abandon towns but this is the first time I saw it. Below is an example. Kind of scary. Who thought of this?
I found out later I was parked in the "elegant" Historical District of Brownsville. I guess it was an off day for tourism. Below is the parking sign and I believe that middle building is the library.
The following photos are just other shots of buildings and businesses gone tits up. I hope you find these as uplifting as I do. This is our future if things keep going the way they do. Look at it!
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| Come Armageddon, come Armageddon come! |
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| nifty walkway thingy |
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| Even bats have it rough in this town....lifes hard lil guy. |
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| These guys could've used a bail out. |
I continued south on my journey and eventually I got to Morgantown, WV. I liked their football team years ago and was sort of curious what the town looked like. This was in complete contrast to what I felt in Brownsville as Morgantown is a lively college town with tons of young flesh walking the streets. It was a warm day and there were lots of good choices to eat. I settled on a Mediterranean Deli on the Main St. and inhaled a gyro with stuffed grape leaves as an appetizer. I did one short walk up and down the street and headed back home.
It would be another 5 hours before I'd reach my destination. Not a bad way to spend a warm spring day.
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