Self Sabatoge.

I seem to excel at it. Whether I'm meeting someone new or just ruining a good situation. Not sure what it is, maybe voices or spirits inside. Might be tied to a fear of succeeding, I think many of this. It might also be tight to boredom. Possibly I get tired of a good situation, it gets old too me, so I decide to decide to squash it. Even though it was something good.

There are few things I haven't destroyed. I think the band is one of them. For some reason I'm able to interact like an actual adult around those guys and the main objective is having a cool song or arrangement. You can forget yourself in those situations. Bands are unique like that.

Other than that though, I'm mostly a screw up. Not because I'm less than anyone else, but because I chose to do it. It's weird. I notice mostly with conversations around people, and especially women. Maybe I'm trying to constantly create a volatile/non fragile situation in my human interactions. Maybe I need to be entertained or dazzle.

Children do this. I still do. I get bored. I'm sorry. That's how I am. My apologies for any of those I've offended during the years, if I did.