This is a brief list and some discussions of things I've pondered about what people do. The question is: What kind of people do this? Things that humans do that I don't understand. This doesn't mean they are god or bad, in some cases it does, but mainly it's things that strike me as odd but might be common occurrences in the world we live in.
1) Who in their right mind gets knocked up if they don't have a reliable partner or any income?
It's not new anymore but I see a lot more now. An occurrence I'll never understand, I assume it's based on government programs/welfare. Please understand, I'm not blaming America's problems on this situation like a lot of people do, there are others higher up, that steal way more from the government. (We all steal from the government really, directly or indirectly.) I'm questioning the mindset of anyone who would want to be tied down to a life that they can't support. Many at such young ages. Rubbers aren't hard to acquire.
2) Who goes to a Nickelback concert?
3) Who still watches cable news as their primary source of information?
I'm no scholar, but if you haven't realized the major news networks are an absolutely horrible source for current event you must be a fucking idiot. The coverage is so dumbed and details are rarely discussed.
4) Why do dainty men and women buy big SUVs to get around in?
People should have the right to purchase what they want in a free market, but, in light of current gas prices I'm rather clueless as to why those with soft hands who have no need for a truck, buy one. My guess would be a self-esteem builder. Having driven one they do give you sense of power that some people just lack. It's quite sad.
5) Who still passionately votes for a major party candidate?
I guess I'm guilty of that in the primaries, but that's when the field is wide open. I'm speaking more about a major presidential election. Who was the last person to get excited about? Who can you say you voted for without any shame?
6) Who watches television?
I'll admit, with HDTV, you do get some good stations but the price is really not worth it. Hook your computer up to your TV you can get all the sporting events and movies you want. When you want it. What I'm saying isn't new.
7) Who purchases vehicles made by GM?
It's funny, I'm writing this as my brother texted me that my old man bought a Chevy Malibu. He only did cause he had GM points ($3000 credit). Other than that though, the company failed at creating a good car and got bailed out by you and me. That really isn't fair. Ford makes much better cars if you want to buy American and well, overseas, at least in the UK, you see way more Fords than Chevy's. I am interested in seeing the old man's Malibu. I hope it's what he wanted.
8) Who drinks all of those sugary drinks?
Go to any Gas Station in this country and look at their beverage coolers. I think aside from water, everything else is loaded with sugar or high fructose corn syrup or even worse? Who decided that they liked insane amounts of sweet in their drinks. This is madness really. Tea, coffee, energy drinks, etc...it goes on. I enjoy Coke every now and again, but that shit doesn't need to be in everything.
Seven years ago I stumbled upon Ito En's, Tea's Tea, Green Jasmine flavor. Here's the gimmick, it JUST CONTAINS TEA, WATER, and JASMINE. What a mind blower! It's the best stuff out there, Honest Tea does okay too. Drink unsweetened teas for a month and everything else will taste like shit. Fuck sweets.
9) Who hates McDonald's/Fastfood?
There are a lot of them out there but I don't think McDonald's pretends to be something it's not. Anyone with a brain knows your getting shit and you're getting it quickly. Their service is fast and excellent and it should be respected in its proper place. I might eat there a few times a year and I do feel sick afterwards but what should I expect. Except it for what it is and move on.
I'm done here. If anyone still reads this, add some below.
dB.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
New Year's Resolution.
I don't really have a resolution as I think they are kind of a waste of time. I don't like writing lists of things to follow. I don't like lists and agendas. I don't understand how people can operate with lists and objectives on a consistent basis and be happy. I guess it's all about being trained. Having said I do have some things I'd like to keep in mind in this upcoming year. I won't hold myself to these strictly. I won't lose sleep over them. But adhering to these concepts would probably lead to a happier and more productive 2012.
The first thing to do is to make sure that I surround myself around positive people. I've been blessed by accident I think, to already be doing so in this town I live in, and outside of town. I guess it'd be more accurate to say avoid dark people who drain energy. In the past I've been drawn to the negative as it appears more interesting than the good. It's always a no-win situation though. You always leave worse than you began. Positive people, like the people in the band, and around town, always build you up make you stronger. This is all common sense, but sometimes it needs to be reiterated.
Secondly, I need to recommit to a healthful lifestyle, without compromising my need for a good times and individual liberty. I'm getting older. I bought vitamins (SAM-E, D (5000 IU's), and IRON) today. I need to get back to the Cod Liver (Carlson's) routine, as well as juicing. I've noticed mood changes before when I did that stuff not to mention my "performances" were longer (fyi). Taking up swimming would be great too. I'm not fit to do much physically right now. It's really quite sad.
Another thing I should do is get a somewhat steady side-job. Another source of income. Money is a good thing and I really need more of it if I'm to eventually build a cargo container home somewhere. I waste a lot of hours in the day. This needs to stop.
Finally, I must remain self-interested. With an understanding that I'm the only one that can provide true happiness and fulfillment for myself. I need to quiet any harmful desire of companionship and family. Physical exchanges need to remain unattached and cold. Vulnerability leads to weakness. Weakness will drain energy. Keep it light. Try different things. Playing music, writing songs, drawing, following politics, learning about Austrian Economics (for now) keep me content.
I can't believe I just made a list. It must be the 10,000 IU's of Vitamin D I took and the Iron...someone hold me accountable to this shit...and don't mock me if you see me in an alley, off the wagon, violating everyone of these approaches. I fail a lot.
The first thing to do is to make sure that I surround myself around positive people. I've been blessed by accident I think, to already be doing so in this town I live in, and outside of town. I guess it'd be more accurate to say avoid dark people who drain energy. In the past I've been drawn to the negative as it appears more interesting than the good. It's always a no-win situation though. You always leave worse than you began. Positive people, like the people in the band, and around town, always build you up make you stronger. This is all common sense, but sometimes it needs to be reiterated.
Secondly, I need to recommit to a healthful lifestyle, without compromising my need for a good times and individual liberty. I'm getting older. I bought vitamins (SAM-E, D (5000 IU's), and IRON) today. I need to get back to the Cod Liver (Carlson's) routine, as well as juicing. I've noticed mood changes before when I did that stuff not to mention my "performances" were longer (fyi). Taking up swimming would be great too. I'm not fit to do much physically right now. It's really quite sad.
Another thing I should do is get a somewhat steady side-job. Another source of income. Money is a good thing and I really need more of it if I'm to eventually build a cargo container home somewhere. I waste a lot of hours in the day. This needs to stop.
Finally, I must remain self-interested. With an understanding that I'm the only one that can provide true happiness and fulfillment for myself. I need to quiet any harmful desire of companionship and family. Physical exchanges need to remain unattached and cold. Vulnerability leads to weakness. Weakness will drain energy. Keep it light. Try different things. Playing music, writing songs, drawing, following politics, learning about Austrian Economics (for now) keep me content.
I can't believe I just made a list. It must be the 10,000 IU's of Vitamin D I took and the Iron...someone hold me accountable to this shit...and don't mock me if you see me in an alley, off the wagon, violating everyone of these approaches. I fail a lot.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The Testosterone Bump
Almost two years ago I was diagnosed with low-mid range testosterone levels. My doctor told me and I laughed as a defense mechanism for him essentially telling I could stand to be more manly (which I/we knew all along). It helped explain a lot. Lack of confidence, borderline depression, lack of sex drive, and overall apathy and passiveness to the world around me were all symptoms of low T.
So over the last couple years when I take the stuff regularly, I do notice a more than subtle impact on my approach to things. The first thing is that I become positive and more aggressive, like I can get stuff done (slightly like coke). The stuff makes me happy and ready to go.
The other big side effect is that I feel the need to run more game in bar room settings. It's no longer a defeatist attitude. I can remember one drunken night at a local establishment dancing closely, maybe too closely to a female friend. She remained cool but I would suspect if it were most other people I would've been slapped or thrown out of the place. To her credit, she laughed and played along. She was drunk too. There are very incriminating photos of this experience which almost resembles porn with close on. I blame my behavior on the testosterone and booze. To see the facial expressions are priceless.
It's a weird chemical. I think all chemicals that affect behaviour are weird but this one in particularly has a strange power and I've felt the difference first hand. Sometimes I slack off in my treatment, which by the way comes in a gel that gives off an appealing scent. A girl at the workplace once asked me what that smell was and she seemed pretty intense about finding the answer. She practically said she wanted it. "It" being the smell. I denied it was me and left the room. I was later found to be the guilty party which lead to laughs, I kept denying.
If you do happen to be in your mid 30's or so, get tested to see if you are lacking, while the treatment is expensive, if your insurance covers it, you will notice immediate results. Let it be known.
dB
So over the last couple years when I take the stuff regularly, I do notice a more than subtle impact on my approach to things. The first thing is that I become positive and more aggressive, like I can get stuff done (slightly like coke). The stuff makes me happy and ready to go.
The other big side effect is that I feel the need to run more game in bar room settings. It's no longer a defeatist attitude. I can remember one drunken night at a local establishment dancing closely, maybe too closely to a female friend. She remained cool but I would suspect if it were most other people I would've been slapped or thrown out of the place. To her credit, she laughed and played along. She was drunk too. There are very incriminating photos of this experience which almost resembles porn with close on. I blame my behavior on the testosterone and booze. To see the facial expressions are priceless.
It's a weird chemical. I think all chemicals that affect behaviour are weird but this one in particularly has a strange power and I've felt the difference first hand. Sometimes I slack off in my treatment, which by the way comes in a gel that gives off an appealing scent. A girl at the workplace once asked me what that smell was and she seemed pretty intense about finding the answer. She practically said she wanted it. "It" being the smell. I denied it was me and left the room. I was later found to be the guilty party which lead to laughs, I kept denying.
If you do happen to be in your mid 30's or so, get tested to see if you are lacking, while the treatment is expensive, if your insurance covers it, you will notice immediate results. Let it be known.
dB
Monday, January 2, 2012
2012 ->
~I hope today wasn't an indicator of how the rest of the year will go. I tend to believe that the remaining shit from 2011 didn't quite make its way fully out. A lot of poop gets backed up northeast of here, but once it's fully out, more progress can get done.~
+It began at 4pm.
+The 4pm football game was kind of shitty. Our running back got injured.
+I eventually got mediocre chinese food. (Oh wait, there's cheese cake in the fridge!)
+Put on Porky's, then dozed off.
+Woke up to an annoying phone call.
+The highlight was a few drinks at the local bar. It wasn't too crowded. I felt at home.
+It began at 4pm.
+The 4pm football game was kind of shitty. Our running back got injured.
+I eventually got mediocre chinese food. (Oh wait, there's cheese cake in the fridge!)
+Put on Porky's, then dozed off.
+Woke up to an annoying phone call.
+The highlight was a few drinks at the local bar. It wasn't too crowded. I felt at home.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
This is why you were hesitant. (self affirmations on government)
The signs were on the wall since day one. You knew something was up but you couldn't put your finger on it. It was a vibe they put out, the secrecy of everything, if you will. You knew not to ask anything and be polite, but in the end, cover-ups are unsustainable.
You spent weeks and months agonizing over things you weren't sure you should do.
The pain of indecision lasts a long time and at times it can question your manhood. But the little voice was right, your "other" head was wrong. (The "other" head is happy and safer, that "he" is not in control). It's okay to have feelings. Alan Alda has feelings and he's a great man. Okay, maybe he is kind of a pussy. But the point is your intuition has always been correct and only now you're seeing that it's verified.
Now that you know the truth quit wasting time thinking about it and messing with it and trying to accomplish the impossible. You always knew nothing positive would ever come of it, for the most part. That's harsh, there were good things. But they must be forgotten for now. For now they must be despised.
That damn government. That damn monopoly of force!
You spent weeks and months agonizing over things you weren't sure you should do.
The pain of indecision lasts a long time and at times it can question your manhood. But the little voice was right, your "other" head was wrong. (The "other" head is happy and safer, that "he" is not in control). It's okay to have feelings. Alan Alda has feelings and he's a great man. Okay, maybe he is kind of a pussy. But the point is your intuition has always been correct and only now you're seeing that it's verified.
Now that you know the truth quit wasting time thinking about it and messing with it and trying to accomplish the impossible. You always knew nothing positive would ever come of it, for the most part. That's harsh, there were good things. But they must be forgotten for now. For now they must be despised.
That damn government. That damn monopoly of force!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
2011: In Review
2011 started with a bang as our house threw a pretty crazy New Year's Party. Brother JT even attended. Our original plans were to take a train to Montreal for the New Years but people started backing out, so the party had a slightly Montreal theme. One guest brought fries and gravy, a Montreal staple (I forgot what they call it up there in Francais).
A close friend got pretty seriously sick but she pulled through. Another positive sign of constant regeneration that our bodies are capable of. She's pretty close to normal from what we can see. Well, she was never normal in the first place. She's reclaimed her authoritarianism. Short people tend to do that.
Around early spring I decided to venture out of Kutztown and hit up the Lehigh Valley more often for weekend socializing. These nights turned into good escapes and was a good way to see different faces. Many of those faces aren't so new anymore and I'm still going back there, but not as regularly. Last weekend was a reminder of those good times at the Your Welcome Inn - first friday - Dance Party.
Most of the early summer wasn't too eventful. I dug myself little holes doing little things that weren't so wise but fun/relaxing at the time. Later on, in July through September, it became interesting though, at least on Saturdays, for a couple months. Met up with an interesting and strange soul who came in as quickly as she went. Lots of silliness and laughs and fucked up (in the best way possible) conversations were had. Thoughts of hurricanes, Long Island, Wickoff St., Radio Flyer, and gyros will always have a warm place in my heart. It's tough to find peeps like that these days. I smile on those times.
The band finally finished our 6 song EP. It turned out good. An old college buddy did a swell job on the cover design. Sadly, the band lost one of its founding member, a week later, Mr. Andrew Macfarlane. This was probably the saddest news I heard all year. Macfarlane can attest to my behaviour when he dropped the bomb on me. It was worse than getting dumped. His vibe and approach are not easily replaced. But his contributions helped shape the sound of the band. Subtle yet strong.
The biggest change during this year is that I moved out and am now living alone on Main St. It's almost like a throwback to 2001, in many ways. In many ways it's not. I'm on the third floor this time and up the street about a block, same side. I have a nice view of everything from my desk that I'm typing at now. The decision to move was impulsive. Right now I think it was a good choice. I haven't been to the bar in a week (I've been sick), but, my drinking has gone down. I rarely drink at home, I have 6 Yuenglings sitting in my fridge now, that will probably be there for whenever someone comes over.
This about sums up my year. Another one down, hopefully, not many more to go. As I look ahead to 2012, we have a Paris-London trip planned early in January. We'll see what happens next.
A close friend got pretty seriously sick but she pulled through. Another positive sign of constant regeneration that our bodies are capable of. She's pretty close to normal from what we can see. Well, she was never normal in the first place. She's reclaimed her authoritarianism. Short people tend to do that.
Around early spring I decided to venture out of Kutztown and hit up the Lehigh Valley more often for weekend socializing. These nights turned into good escapes and was a good way to see different faces. Many of those faces aren't so new anymore and I'm still going back there, but not as regularly. Last weekend was a reminder of those good times at the Your Welcome Inn - first friday - Dance Party.
Most of the early summer wasn't too eventful. I dug myself little holes doing little things that weren't so wise but fun/relaxing at the time. Later on, in July through September, it became interesting though, at least on Saturdays, for a couple months. Met up with an interesting and strange soul who came in as quickly as she went. Lots of silliness and laughs and fucked up (in the best way possible) conversations were had. Thoughts of hurricanes, Long Island, Wickoff St., Radio Flyer, and gyros will always have a warm place in my heart. It's tough to find peeps like that these days. I smile on those times.
The band finally finished our 6 song EP. It turned out good. An old college buddy did a swell job on the cover design. Sadly, the band lost one of its founding member, a week later, Mr. Andrew Macfarlane. This was probably the saddest news I heard all year. Macfarlane can attest to my behaviour when he dropped the bomb on me. It was worse than getting dumped. His vibe and approach are not easily replaced. But his contributions helped shape the sound of the band. Subtle yet strong.
The biggest change during this year is that I moved out and am now living alone on Main St. It's almost like a throwback to 2001, in many ways. In many ways it's not. I'm on the third floor this time and up the street about a block, same side. I have a nice view of everything from my desk that I'm typing at now. The decision to move was impulsive. Right now I think it was a good choice. I haven't been to the bar in a week (I've been sick), but, my drinking has gone down. I rarely drink at home, I have 6 Yuenglings sitting in my fridge now, that will probably be there for whenever someone comes over.
This about sums up my year. Another one down, hopefully, not many more to go. As I look ahead to 2012, we have a Paris-London trip planned early in January. We'll see what happens next.
Friday, December 2, 2011
On Returning to the Game
I'm returning to the game. The first mistake is even discussing the game. I've already blown the game with the few that have read this.
Here we go.
All that this means is that it's really just time to grow up and get out there and cast all forms of genuine heartfelt emotion towards those of the opposite sex to the wayside. Manipulation and objectification is the name of the game. It's not what I was taught or how I was raised by my family - it's just the current reality of the scene and those in it. Of course, those who object to manipulation and objectification are also the greatest causes of it, and practice it themselves regularly. But that's neither here nor there. In the end it is all about self, instant gratification and living in the moment. Holding on to things has proven to be a draining exercise.
So, f### all that Alan Alda style emotion, whining and caring. Having grown up hearing that this is how to be has been a total lie. I'm moving towards the superficial. Honesty and openness just leaves a man vulnerable to exploitation. Honesty and openness will never win "the game."
Cremation of care.
Here we go.
All that this means is that it's really just time to grow up and get out there and cast all forms of genuine heartfelt emotion towards those of the opposite sex to the wayside. Manipulation and objectification is the name of the game. It's not what I was taught or how I was raised by my family - it's just the current reality of the scene and those in it. Of course, those who object to manipulation and objectification are also the greatest causes of it, and practice it themselves regularly. But that's neither here nor there. In the end it is all about self, instant gratification and living in the moment. Holding on to things has proven to be a draining exercise.
So, f### all that Alan Alda style emotion, whining and caring. Having grown up hearing that this is how to be has been a total lie. I'm moving towards the superficial. Honesty and openness just leaves a man vulnerable to exploitation. Honesty and openness will never win "the game."
Cremation of care.
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